Pay attention to her. Every time she is speaking to you, make an effort to look her in the eyes and understand what she is saying. If you do not understand, tell her. This will show her that you are listening and would like to hear what she has to say.
Be trustworthy. Prove yourself to her daily. If you give her your word that you will be there for her, follow through. How can anyone care for someone they lie to?
Respect her mind, body, and soul. She is a different individual. There are many paths of life and hers may be differing from yours. Accept her and cherish her for who she is.
Perform random acts of kindness. Be creative. Call her when you guys are not together and tell her that you are thinking about her. Paste a note on her mirror telling her that you love her. A picture is worth a thousand words, paint her a watercolor. Leave her a flower and a sincere note.
Spend quality time with her. Turning off the T.V., grabbing a blanket, and lying with her beneath the stars can mean more than expensive jewelry.
Let her know exactly how you feel. Look within. Exactly what does this woman mean to you? Write it down. Give it to her.
When you are away, whether it be a business trip, or a vacation with the guys, check in with her. It's just polite! Let her know that although you're having fun, she has crossed your mind,
Never lose contact for a unreasonable time, if you have not seen her for a few days, let her know you are thinking about her. Girls love this.
Tell her you love her every once in a while. It makes women feel good to know that they are loved.
Tips
Women are different from men. While a man's focus may be on the physical aspects of a relationship, showing a woman that you respect and care for the sensual things will go a very long way.
Never lie to her. Lying to a woman is a sure way to lose her respect.
Step in and help her without being asked. Show her that you are there for her.
Guys are actually very sensitive when it comes down to some things, so some of this may just be common sense.
Read an ebook called "100 Ways to Show Your Love & Affection" by Gloria D. Heffner gives great ideas to add or keep the romance, love & affection in a relationship. The ideas can be tailored to your or your partner's personality(ies).
Remember women multi-task (i.e. balancing work and family)
Turn off the TV and turn on the romance!
Monday, October 13, 2008
How to be a good boy friend..??
Be honest. In a mature relationship, honesty is the best policy. It may be difficult, but the truth will allow relationships to breathe. No matter what happens, no one can ever challenge the fact that you are truthful, which might mean that the other person also gives you the same respect. If something doesn't suit them let them know, otherwise they will not trust your opinion. But make it sound like a compliment. Suggest an alternative, and attach praise to the alternative.
For example, if they ask you if you like something they are trying on (trying on, not already wearing at a party!) let them know that it might work, but you think the blue one is your favourite so far because it shows off their great (insert a feature you appreciate, preferably not one that they are self-conscious about). It's not going to be easy to be honest and kind at the same time, so focus on learning how to give a feedback sandwich and you'll both be better off.
Don't brush them off. People often find it exasperating when they get the feeling their partner treats them as an inferior in a relationship. Women are no exception. A lot of people have been taught that the only way to get attention when their partner is trying to ignore them is to act more emotional and be louder until the partner finally surrenders and pays attention to her, even if in annoyance. If people feel they're being given the cold treatment by people who are supposed to be important to them, they get worried. Especially when it happens without you giving an explanation for why this disturbance has occurred. People aren't mind readers. Your mate is not likely to be able to guess that you're cranky just because they wouldn't let you do something that they felt was very trivial, whereas you found it important. If you know that your mood might lead you to overreact, simply say "I'm feeling really irritated right now. Can we talk about this later after I cool off a bit?" (Don't forget to follow through and actually give her your time later.)
Communicate. Do not talk their ear off, however make sure that if you have any problems that will affect your mood, they are made aware of the reasons for your problems and mood, so that you do not appear to merely be a fickle and cranky creature. Zone out everything around you when you're talking to them. If you ask them a question, ask them because you really want to know. For example, ask them what type of movies they enjoy, or about one of her favourites. If you know it, talk about it a little bit in an honest way, what you thought of it, and make a guess at why they might have liked it. Even if you are wrong, your mate will usually love the fact that you are interested enough to try. Remember, the opposite of talking is not waiting, it's listening. Make sure you're actually listening, not just waiting for your turn to talk. Put off a vibe that tells them that they can tell you anything. Make them feel safe.
Give gifts as a surprise. Anyone can buy a gift for a birthday, Christmas or an anniversary.
Listen to them when you are out window shopping, and if there is something they like, and it's within your price range, remember it and surprise them with it when they least expect it, for no reason at all. Or pick something up on your way home from work, and tell them you were thinking of them when you saw it. It doesn't have to be big or expensive--a book you know they will like, or a CD of their favourite band are nice gestures.
Mix things up. Go to a new restaurant, try a new nightclub or go to a new part of town. Even if you both end up hating it, it's an experience you can share and that's what it's all about isn't it? Creating memories together. Surprise them by doing something offbeat--think less maudlin and more personal. This includes anything from racing them to your walking destination, dancing without music, or even bringing them a tub of LEGO and encouraging their immediate use. You two should grow to be comfortable with each other, and do things together without self-consciousness. Ideally, they should never feel stupid around you for wanting or doing a particular thing. Step out of your comfort zone. Sometimes, in order to get things going, you need to be the one to step out of the comfort zone.
Compliment them sincerely. Find something particular and compliment them on it, but mean it. Don't just say, "You look nice". Say "That really makes your eyes flash", "Your hair cut really suits the shape of your face" or "That makes me want to kiss your neck" ...and then kiss their neck! The more specific you are, the more unique and appreciative the compliment.
Let your partner be. Just because she is your significant other, doesn't mean she is yours, implying any kind of ownership. You can't keep this person all to yourself. You might get jealous if they talk to someone else, but if you trust them and are good to them, you shouldn't have anything to worry about. If their actions do make you feel uncomfortable, sit down and talk, again using nonviolent communication. Same goes for how they dress and look. They may not always feel like spending an hour plucking, tweezing, clipping this, applying that. Make sure they know they can relax and be themselves with you. Don't make them feel like they always have to look like a celestial being. If they're letting themselves go, so to speak, bring it up in a gentle and helpful way, like "What ever happened to your red lipstick? You have gorgeous lips, and I love it when you highlight them once in a while. It looks amazing."
Take care of yourself. Don't be needy or dependent. Nothing scares someone away faster than someone they constantly need to remind to do laundry, take a shower, or get to work on time. Be hygienic and neat, set goals, and work hard. You can't be a good boyfriend if you're not a good person.
Tips
Keep in mind: the road will be difficult. As in any healthy relationship, you will have your share of conflicts, some tiny, some big. Remember to be true to yourself, and try to abandon any significant selfishness. A relationship is a matter of team work.
Treat them like you normally do around your friends or else they will feel like you're embarrassed to date her.
If she doesn't want to talk about something right away then just drop the subject. She will tell you when she is ready.
Warnings
If your partner sees you doing something that can be easily misinterpreted in a bad way, don't say "this isn't what you think" or "this isn't what it looks like". Hold her hand (they will pull away) then look them in the eye and tell them you love them, and that they are the only one for you, and it really wasn't what it looked like, then explain.
Never cheat. It remains perfectly understandable that you'll have wandering eyes, but realize where your heart is and stick to that. One time will be enough to convince someone to dump you.
Never hold their family's actions against them. No one can help what their family does or says. You can share with them that it bothers you what someone might have done or said but leave it alone after that.
Never tell them about something you almost did for them and then ended up not doing for whatever reason. Like saying 'I thought about getting you this gift, but changed my mind' or 'I was going to take the day off work to spend it with you and then decided it was a bad idea'. They will not think you were thoughtful, they will think you decided they weren't worth it. This is worse than an oblivious boyfriend, because it shows you know how to be romantic and what to do, but don't find them valuable enough. These thoughts are definitely best kept to yourself.
Don't embarrass them. Most people get embarrassed if you talk about undergarments and things like that. Remember, those sorts of things may be attractive to you, but to them they may be something they don't want to talk about. On the same idea, never tell a funny story about them without her consent, especially if they try to stop you, DO NOT CONTINUE. This will hurt their feelings, as it shows impressing your friends and making them laugh is more important to you than them not having to feel stupid.
Don't be too clingy. She wants her personal space just as much as you do. If she wants to hang out with her friends, or do something other than hanging out with you, let her.
For example, if they ask you if you like something they are trying on (trying on, not already wearing at a party!) let them know that it might work, but you think the blue one is your favourite so far because it shows off their great (insert a feature you appreciate, preferably not one that they are self-conscious about). It's not going to be easy to be honest and kind at the same time, so focus on learning how to give a feedback sandwich and you'll both be better off.
Don't brush them off. People often find it exasperating when they get the feeling their partner treats them as an inferior in a relationship. Women are no exception. A lot of people have been taught that the only way to get attention when their partner is trying to ignore them is to act more emotional and be louder until the partner finally surrenders and pays attention to her, even if in annoyance. If people feel they're being given the cold treatment by people who are supposed to be important to them, they get worried. Especially when it happens without you giving an explanation for why this disturbance has occurred. People aren't mind readers. Your mate is not likely to be able to guess that you're cranky just because they wouldn't let you do something that they felt was very trivial, whereas you found it important. If you know that your mood might lead you to overreact, simply say "I'm feeling really irritated right now. Can we talk about this later after I cool off a bit?" (Don't forget to follow through and actually give her your time later.)
Communicate. Do not talk their ear off, however make sure that if you have any problems that will affect your mood, they are made aware of the reasons for your problems and mood, so that you do not appear to merely be a fickle and cranky creature. Zone out everything around you when you're talking to them. If you ask them a question, ask them because you really want to know. For example, ask them what type of movies they enjoy, or about one of her favourites. If you know it, talk about it a little bit in an honest way, what you thought of it, and make a guess at why they might have liked it. Even if you are wrong, your mate will usually love the fact that you are interested enough to try. Remember, the opposite of talking is not waiting, it's listening. Make sure you're actually listening, not just waiting for your turn to talk. Put off a vibe that tells them that they can tell you anything. Make them feel safe.
Give gifts as a surprise. Anyone can buy a gift for a birthday, Christmas or an anniversary.
Listen to them when you are out window shopping, and if there is something they like, and it's within your price range, remember it and surprise them with it when they least expect it, for no reason at all. Or pick something up on your way home from work, and tell them you were thinking of them when you saw it. It doesn't have to be big or expensive--a book you know they will like, or a CD of their favourite band are nice gestures.
Mix things up. Go to a new restaurant, try a new nightclub or go to a new part of town. Even if you both end up hating it, it's an experience you can share and that's what it's all about isn't it? Creating memories together. Surprise them by doing something offbeat--think less maudlin and more personal. This includes anything from racing them to your walking destination, dancing without music, or even bringing them a tub of LEGO and encouraging their immediate use. You two should grow to be comfortable with each other, and do things together without self-consciousness. Ideally, they should never feel stupid around you for wanting or doing a particular thing. Step out of your comfort zone. Sometimes, in order to get things going, you need to be the one to step out of the comfort zone.
Compliment them sincerely. Find something particular and compliment them on it, but mean it. Don't just say, "You look nice". Say "That really makes your eyes flash", "Your hair cut really suits the shape of your face" or "That makes me want to kiss your neck" ...and then kiss their neck! The more specific you are, the more unique and appreciative the compliment.
Let your partner be. Just because she is your significant other, doesn't mean she is yours, implying any kind of ownership. You can't keep this person all to yourself. You might get jealous if they talk to someone else, but if you trust them and are good to them, you shouldn't have anything to worry about. If their actions do make you feel uncomfortable, sit down and talk, again using nonviolent communication. Same goes for how they dress and look. They may not always feel like spending an hour plucking, tweezing, clipping this, applying that. Make sure they know they can relax and be themselves with you. Don't make them feel like they always have to look like a celestial being. If they're letting themselves go, so to speak, bring it up in a gentle and helpful way, like "What ever happened to your red lipstick? You have gorgeous lips, and I love it when you highlight them once in a while. It looks amazing."
Take care of yourself. Don't be needy or dependent. Nothing scares someone away faster than someone they constantly need to remind to do laundry, take a shower, or get to work on time. Be hygienic and neat, set goals, and work hard. You can't be a good boyfriend if you're not a good person.
Tips
Keep in mind: the road will be difficult. As in any healthy relationship, you will have your share of conflicts, some tiny, some big. Remember to be true to yourself, and try to abandon any significant selfishness. A relationship is a matter of team work.
Treat them like you normally do around your friends or else they will feel like you're embarrassed to date her.
If she doesn't want to talk about something right away then just drop the subject. She will tell you when she is ready.
Warnings
If your partner sees you doing something that can be easily misinterpreted in a bad way, don't say "this isn't what you think" or "this isn't what it looks like". Hold her hand (they will pull away) then look them in the eye and tell them you love them, and that they are the only one for you, and it really wasn't what it looked like, then explain.
Never cheat. It remains perfectly understandable that you'll have wandering eyes, but realize where your heart is and stick to that. One time will be enough to convince someone to dump you.
Never hold their family's actions against them. No one can help what their family does or says. You can share with them that it bothers you what someone might have done or said but leave it alone after that.
Never tell them about something you almost did for them and then ended up not doing for whatever reason. Like saying 'I thought about getting you this gift, but changed my mind' or 'I was going to take the day off work to spend it with you and then decided it was a bad idea'. They will not think you were thoughtful, they will think you decided they weren't worth it. This is worse than an oblivious boyfriend, because it shows you know how to be romantic and what to do, but don't find them valuable enough. These thoughts are definitely best kept to yourself.
Don't embarrass them. Most people get embarrassed if you talk about undergarments and things like that. Remember, those sorts of things may be attractive to you, but to them they may be something they don't want to talk about. On the same idea, never tell a funny story about them without her consent, especially if they try to stop you, DO NOT CONTINUE. This will hurt their feelings, as it shows impressing your friends and making them laugh is more important to you than them not having to feel stupid.
Don't be too clingy. She wants her personal space just as much as you do. If she wants to hang out with her friends, or do something other than hanging out with you, let her.
How to ask a girl out..?
Make sure you for you, and you don't want to give her any false ideas. Look somewhat decent, showing that you are trying. Don't show up wearing over-powering cologne; two squirts is enough. Just enough for her to notice you when talking to you but not for somebody across the room to notice.
Greet her in . Mundane activities like grocery shopping or more exhilarating ones like snowboarding are great ways for her to get to know you, although inviting her for having coffee at a Cafe, or even a drink at a bar are not only great ideas, but traditional as well. After you and she have had the opportunity to "feel" each other out, find a time in the conversation where it would be appropriate to ask her out. The way you would ask her is quite simple in fact. An example would be: "Hey I'm going/doing ACTIVITY this weekend. How would you like to tag along? I promise it'll be great." Say this with a small smile, teasingly. Do NOT use cheesy pickup lines, as they are not you. The example doesn't have to be followed verbatim, you can ask it in whatever way you feel is comfortable, but the important part is that you make a time to see her, and ask if she wants to come with you.
Spend time with her and a group of other people (not a one-on-one date). This will make her feel more comfortable as it's not as intense as being out as a couple.
Make sure that you're asking out this girl not just for her looks, but for her personality. If you just ask her out because she is "hot" , then things won't work out for a long period of time. If she is a good friend of yours, don't make her feel uncomfortable, but ask her out & tell her that you really like her.
Ask her when you two are ALONE. Having others around you will stir pressure on her to say yes or no. Also, make sure the girl you are asking out is genuine and will really like you - not just because she has a good figure or is popular.
Make sure you don't give too much away about yourself and even though it feels supportive and cute don't say things like "if i'm annoying you, just tell me" because it will make the girl uncomfortable and make them think that you are open to rejection.
Tips
Have fun - don't try to be serious all the time! Most of them like to have some fun every now and then.
Before you meet her, make a list of creative ways to ask the girl out. Then pick the best one.
Be extremely nice and treat her with respect. This is a must. If you can't treat a girl right, don't even bother trying.
Become her friend. This is half the battle, and at the very worst at least you have one more friend than you had before.
Make sure her past relationship is completely over and done with.
Be calm and confident. If you're sweating and stuttering, that girl will feel nervous about going out with you. Girls want guys that are confident, but not cocky.
Some girls prefer to be called "sexy" or "hot." Others prefer to be called "lovely" or "beautiful." Make sure you don't use the wrong word. There are other good ones too like "stunning," "irresistible," "really something," "gorgeous," "a hottie," "radiant", etc. Try not to get stuck on just one.
Some girls don't care what a guy who she doesn't know thinks of her looks.
Practice talking to her. If you feel uncomfortable talking to her, you probably aren't ready to ask her out.
Think of subjects to discuss on the date; stories about yourself (not gross ones and not ones that are too elaborate and can't understood right off the bat!), things you want to know about her, etc. in advance
Being relaxed and confident is the difference between a comfortable silence and an unbearable silence. It's natural to have breaks in the conversation. Don't sweat it.
Don't ask your friends to do it. You will have a better chance coming from you.
If you get nervous when you go to ask her out, don't worry about it. Some girls actually think this is cute.
Smell nice when you go to ask her out! Smell is a big turn off! At least put on some deodorant, and don't overdo the cologne (some find it offending). Also, be careful about wearing strong aftershave. Some girls like the smell, while others don't. Just make sure you know if she likes/dislikes it.
Girls hate it when you have a friend ask them out. Otherwise, they get all confused and will not talk to you if she doesn't know the real deal.
If you are not sure if it's the right thing to do don't do it. You want a girl you know is interested in you so don't rush.
Joking around with her, even if it's in your nature, isn't always the best thing to do when asking her out. Show her that you can go outside of your element for her. Besides, if you're already laughing and you bring it up stupidly (ex. saying "Oh yeah, we should go out.") then she may not take it seriously.
Don't be afraid of rejection! Most girls have big hearts and will let you down very easily, if at all. Some girls agree to one date just because you asked and they're being nice. Don't take it the wrong way, it simply means she likes you enough to not hurt your feelings but not enough that she's ready for a relationship.
Try Double Dating when you first go out. If you can't drive it's a great idea, because would you rather your mom take you? I didn't think so. It also relieves pressure for the girl and can keep you out of sticky situations. If you're nervous, having a cool older friend that you're comfortable with and their date can help you feel relax and have a better time.
Remember the three P's of dating. For it to be a date it has to be Planned Ahead, Paid for, and Paired Off. Have a plan, don't go out there winging it because you'll do something stupid. If you're a guy, be a man and respect the girl enough to pay for her. Paired off, you don't have to be completely exclusive but it allows the date to be loyal to you in all the activities which leads to deeper bonds and deeper trust.
If the girl says "No," don't get really annoyed and show it. If you don't get annoyed and still get to know her better and then you ask again in about a couple of weeks she might say yes (if this doesn't work just give up)
Let her know that you really like her or else she might think you just want to have a short relationship.
Have fun. No girl wants to be with a guy who is boring.
Be confident. It's a little weird when someone starts to stutter and say um a lot.
When you do approach the girl, try not to start the conversation by a "Hey, can I talk to you?" or a "Can I ask you something?". Don't ask her out randomly, but these lines are giant hints that you are about to ask her out. Can be awkward.
Another thing by the same guy who said not to e-mail ask, ask her out, most people are scared, do you know why, because of the big NO, don't worry, if you really really love her it should work for you.
Don't wait! There is never a perfect time.
If you went out with a girl and she broke up with you then DO NOT ask one of her close friends to go out with you less than a month later. She will say no because she's not sure if her friend will be cool with you two going out.
Ask her out a few months later (e.g. If you asked a girl out in November, then you should probably ask her out in late January)
If you are looking at her and she starts to turn towards you don't turn and look in the opposite direction. It can make her think you are not confident and you will never get her.
DO NOT let her know you read this. It will almost definitely make you seem like you aren't confident enough to try it yourself.
And if you want to read her body language but don't want her to notice if she sits in front of you in a class you could look at her but you have to make sure you pay attention so you don't get in trouble.
And if you break up with her but she really likes you, you could say "I really hope we can still be friends." Because if you don't she would get very upset and think you might never want to talk to her again.
Smile most of the time when you want to ask her out, girls love guys who smile.
Remember that the boy pays! Girls sit there and say, "Oh, I can pay," but YOU have to pay! Remember this!!!!!!!!!
When you get ready to ask the big question, glance at the floor whilst you ask half the question and then pause, and then look deep into her eyes and ask half the rest softly.
Don't beat around the bush. Girls want to know you care enough to work up the confidence to straight up ask her out. If you ramble on and on the girl won't really get the message and most likely will never get back to you. If your directly ask her you will get a definate yes or no.
Asking a girl out in person is better than text, IM, email, or whatever else.
Tell THE TRUTH. If you smile every time she walks into the room, let her know as you slip in the question!
Warnings
Make sure you know her and are confortable with her because jumping head first into a relationship you and her are not ready for isnt good.
If you give her a note, leave it in her locker, because it gives her time to think about it before she gets around to answering it. Remember, dates are about seeing if you think you would have a chance with someone!
Try to be mature around her! No girl likes a guy who tells cheesy jokes or plays with food!
Absolutely don't ask in front of anyone else, because it might embarrass her.
Keep your hands to yourself! Trying to get physical with a girl right away just tells her that you consider her to be an object and not an actual person.
Be persistent, but not too persistent. If she turns you down gently, then she's politely telling you she's not interested. If she flat out refuses, back away. You don't want any girl to think you're a stalker.
If you have to ask her out through a friend, you will get a "no" by default. Girls do not enjoy hearing, "Hey! I'm asking you out for (Name of guy). He doesn't like you enough to overcome his lack of confidence." They will hear this regardless of how tactful your friend is, unless her friend is a very close friend to both you and herself.
Do not ask right away; you will always get a "no" just because she can always say she doesn't know you well enough. This one is big, get to know them well, then when you're both ready, ask her out cool and calm, and never try to kiss her on a first date unless you're positive that you both want to.
Do not try to buy her the world on the first date (e.g. teddies, etc.) because she might not want to develop the relationship.
Don't keep prying at a rejection. It's okay to ask how come if she says no, but don't be invasive.
Make sure you don't have bad breath! If you do they will assume that you do most of the time! Be careful and clean!
It wouldn't be the best choice to ask a girl out by e-mail because she might think you're to scared to ask her out in person. But it would be okay if you guys weren't going to see each other for a while and you wanted to ask her out before somebody else scooped her up.
Find out about the activities and hobbies she likes but try not to get to know her too much because when the time comes she might think of you as just a friend.
Don't talk about your class.
Don't look anywhere else while you're talking to her, this is considered rude and she might brush you off for it.
Greet her in . Mundane activities like grocery shopping or more exhilarating ones like snowboarding are great ways for her to get to know you, although inviting her for having coffee at a Cafe, or even a drink at a bar are not only great ideas, but traditional as well. After you and she have had the opportunity to "feel" each other out, find a time in the conversation where it would be appropriate to ask her out. The way you would ask her is quite simple in fact. An example would be: "Hey I'm going/doing ACTIVITY this weekend. How would you like to tag along? I promise it'll be great." Say this with a small smile, teasingly. Do NOT use cheesy pickup lines, as they are not you. The example doesn't have to be followed verbatim, you can ask it in whatever way you feel is comfortable, but the important part is that you make a time to see her, and ask if she wants to come with you.
Spend time with her and a group of other people (not a one-on-one date). This will make her feel more comfortable as it's not as intense as being out as a couple.
Make sure that you're asking out this girl not just for her looks, but for her personality. If you just ask her out because she is "hot" , then things won't work out for a long period of time. If she is a good friend of yours, don't make her feel uncomfortable, but ask her out & tell her that you really like her.
Ask her when you two are ALONE. Having others around you will stir pressure on her to say yes or no. Also, make sure the girl you are asking out is genuine and will really like you - not just because she has a good figure or is popular.
Make sure you don't give too much away about yourself and even though it feels supportive and cute don't say things like "if i'm annoying you, just tell me" because it will make the girl uncomfortable and make them think that you are open to rejection.
Tips
Have fun - don't try to be serious all the time! Most of them like to have some fun every now and then.
Before you meet her, make a list of creative ways to ask the girl out. Then pick the best one.
Be extremely nice and treat her with respect. This is a must. If you can't treat a girl right, don't even bother trying.
Become her friend. This is half the battle, and at the very worst at least you have one more friend than you had before.
Make sure her past relationship is completely over and done with.
Be calm and confident. If you're sweating and stuttering, that girl will feel nervous about going out with you. Girls want guys that are confident, but not cocky.
Some girls prefer to be called "sexy" or "hot." Others prefer to be called "lovely" or "beautiful." Make sure you don't use the wrong word. There are other good ones too like "stunning," "irresistible," "really something," "gorgeous," "a hottie," "radiant", etc. Try not to get stuck on just one.
Some girls don't care what a guy who she doesn't know thinks of her looks.
Practice talking to her. If you feel uncomfortable talking to her, you probably aren't ready to ask her out.
Think of subjects to discuss on the date; stories about yourself (not gross ones and not ones that are too elaborate and can't understood right off the bat!), things you want to know about her, etc. in advance
Being relaxed and confident is the difference between a comfortable silence and an unbearable silence. It's natural to have breaks in the conversation. Don't sweat it.
Don't ask your friends to do it. You will have a better chance coming from you.
If you get nervous when you go to ask her out, don't worry about it. Some girls actually think this is cute.
Smell nice when you go to ask her out! Smell is a big turn off! At least put on some deodorant, and don't overdo the cologne (some find it offending). Also, be careful about wearing strong aftershave. Some girls like the smell, while others don't. Just make sure you know if she likes/dislikes it.
Girls hate it when you have a friend ask them out. Otherwise, they get all confused and will not talk to you if she doesn't know the real deal.
If you are not sure if it's the right thing to do don't do it. You want a girl you know is interested in you so don't rush.
Joking around with her, even if it's in your nature, isn't always the best thing to do when asking her out. Show her that you can go outside of your element for her. Besides, if you're already laughing and you bring it up stupidly (ex. saying "Oh yeah, we should go out.") then she may not take it seriously.
Don't be afraid of rejection! Most girls have big hearts and will let you down very easily, if at all. Some girls agree to one date just because you asked and they're being nice. Don't take it the wrong way, it simply means she likes you enough to not hurt your feelings but not enough that she's ready for a relationship.
Try Double Dating when you first go out. If you can't drive it's a great idea, because would you rather your mom take you? I didn't think so. It also relieves pressure for the girl and can keep you out of sticky situations. If you're nervous, having a cool older friend that you're comfortable with and their date can help you feel relax and have a better time.
Remember the three P's of dating. For it to be a date it has to be Planned Ahead, Paid for, and Paired Off. Have a plan, don't go out there winging it because you'll do something stupid. If you're a guy, be a man and respect the girl enough to pay for her. Paired off, you don't have to be completely exclusive but it allows the date to be loyal to you in all the activities which leads to deeper bonds and deeper trust.
If the girl says "No," don't get really annoyed and show it. If you don't get annoyed and still get to know her better and then you ask again in about a couple of weeks she might say yes (if this doesn't work just give up)
Let her know that you really like her or else she might think you just want to have a short relationship.
Have fun. No girl wants to be with a guy who is boring.
Be confident. It's a little weird when someone starts to stutter and say um a lot.
When you do approach the girl, try not to start the conversation by a "Hey, can I talk to you?" or a "Can I ask you something?". Don't ask her out randomly, but these lines are giant hints that you are about to ask her out. Can be awkward.
Another thing by the same guy who said not to e-mail ask, ask her out, most people are scared, do you know why, because of the big NO, don't worry, if you really really love her it should work for you.
Don't wait! There is never a perfect time.
If you went out with a girl and she broke up with you then DO NOT ask one of her close friends to go out with you less than a month later. She will say no because she's not sure if her friend will be cool with you two going out.
Ask her out a few months later (e.g. If you asked a girl out in November, then you should probably ask her out in late January)
If you are looking at her and she starts to turn towards you don't turn and look in the opposite direction. It can make her think you are not confident and you will never get her.
DO NOT let her know you read this. It will almost definitely make you seem like you aren't confident enough to try it yourself.
And if you want to read her body language but don't want her to notice if she sits in front of you in a class you could look at her but you have to make sure you pay attention so you don't get in trouble.
And if you break up with her but she really likes you, you could say "I really hope we can still be friends." Because if you don't she would get very upset and think you might never want to talk to her again.
Smile most of the time when you want to ask her out, girls love guys who smile.
Remember that the boy pays! Girls sit there and say, "Oh, I can pay," but YOU have to pay! Remember this!!!!!!!!!
When you get ready to ask the big question, glance at the floor whilst you ask half the question and then pause, and then look deep into her eyes and ask half the rest softly.
Don't beat around the bush. Girls want to know you care enough to work up the confidence to straight up ask her out. If you ramble on and on the girl won't really get the message and most likely will never get back to you. If your directly ask her you will get a definate yes or no.
Asking a girl out in person is better than text, IM, email, or whatever else.
Tell THE TRUTH. If you smile every time she walks into the room, let her know as you slip in the question!
Warnings
Make sure you know her and are confortable with her because jumping head first into a relationship you and her are not ready for isnt good.
If you give her a note, leave it in her locker, because it gives her time to think about it before she gets around to answering it. Remember, dates are about seeing if you think you would have a chance with someone!
Try to be mature around her! No girl likes a guy who tells cheesy jokes or plays with food!
Absolutely don't ask in front of anyone else, because it might embarrass her.
Keep your hands to yourself! Trying to get physical with a girl right away just tells her that you consider her to be an object and not an actual person.
Be persistent, but not too persistent. If she turns you down gently, then she's politely telling you she's not interested. If she flat out refuses, back away. You don't want any girl to think you're a stalker.
If you have to ask her out through a friend, you will get a "no" by default. Girls do not enjoy hearing, "Hey! I'm asking you out for (Name of guy). He doesn't like you enough to overcome his lack of confidence." They will hear this regardless of how tactful your friend is, unless her friend is a very close friend to both you and herself.
Do not ask right away; you will always get a "no" just because she can always say she doesn't know you well enough. This one is big, get to know them well, then when you're both ready, ask her out cool and calm, and never try to kiss her on a first date unless you're positive that you both want to.
Do not try to buy her the world on the first date (e.g. teddies, etc.) because she might not want to develop the relationship.
Don't keep prying at a rejection. It's okay to ask how come if she says no, but don't be invasive.
Make sure you don't have bad breath! If you do they will assume that you do most of the time! Be careful and clean!
It wouldn't be the best choice to ask a girl out by e-mail because she might think you're to scared to ask her out in person. But it would be okay if you guys weren't going to see each other for a while and you wanted to ask her out before somebody else scooped her up.
Find out about the activities and hobbies she likes but try not to get to know her too much because when the time comes she might think of you as just a friend.
Don't talk about your class.
Don't look anywhere else while you're talking to her, this is considered rude and she might brush you off for it.
How to approach a girl in public..?
You have to get out there and seek them out! Most intelligent and classy girls do not go door to door looking for dates.
Enter a public place such as school and check out the girls
Seek eye contact. Maintain eye contact while trying to keep underwear and armpits dry.
Smile. Avoid appearing overconfident as she may find you cocky, but you mustn't be shy either.
Some girls do like shy guys. But most of them want a guy who's not afraid to go out on a limb sometimes.
Approach with confidence; don't use cheesy pick-up lines, they rarely work. A simple "Hi, how are you tonight?" should break the ice. Or, if you're a teenager, a less formal "Hey, how's it going?" or "Hey, what's up?" will suffice. Being polite and friendly always helps.
Wait for the signals that she is interested: laughing (at your hilarious jokes), flicking her hair around, etc. If she makes any physical contact, like touching your arm while she laughs, it's a good sign.
If you really think she/he is very intrested in you and you like being chased, follow this step, but it is not 100% all the time. After you are 100% sure she is wanting you like a million dollar bill at the mall after flirting for a while, simply say "it was nice talking with you" and walk away. Now if she really was intrested in you enough, she might stop you and ask for you phone # or ask to meet up again.
Take a hint if she's not interested. If she's busy, or if your comic genius is not being appreciated, then say, "It was great to meet you" and cut your losses. If you come on too strong, some women might feel threatened.
Take it small steps at a time. If you think she is interested, don't overdo it: be brief, return to your friends, say, "Maybe we can have a chat later."
Tips
Hygiene: Wash, brush your teeth, clean your ears, cut your nails, pluck those hairs out of your nose. Women notice every flaw so hide them well.
Dress well: ask your sister or mother for advice, wear nice shoes, smell nice but don't overdo the aftershave and smell.
Don't be cheap: pay for her drinks, dinner, her taxi ride home. If she insists on paying her own way, try, "I will get this one, you pay next time." However, if she seems truly intent on paying, don't push it! Let her, but insist you pay the next time. (Note the hint of there being a future between the two of you. Many women will pick up on this subtle comment, but not all; you may be able to ascertain if she's interested by her reaction to this.)
If a girl is on her own, don't point that fact out, and beware if they are in a group of friends as you will end up having to impress more than one girl.
For guys, remember that girls naturally have a wider range of vision than men. When a girl glances to her side she could be trying to get a view of you. Conversely, be careful if you're looking at a girl more than is normal and you can see the sides of her eyes: she can probably see you just as well as you can see her!
Warnings
Do not have bad breath.
Always have manners, open doors for her, chew food with your mouth shut, and be polite to staff.
Do not act perverted around her. She will not think it is funny!
Enter a public place such as school and check out the girls
Seek eye contact. Maintain eye contact while trying to keep underwear and armpits dry.
Smile. Avoid appearing overconfident as she may find you cocky, but you mustn't be shy either.
Some girls do like shy guys. But most of them want a guy who's not afraid to go out on a limb sometimes.
Approach with confidence; don't use cheesy pick-up lines, they rarely work. A simple "Hi, how are you tonight?" should break the ice. Or, if you're a teenager, a less formal "Hey, how's it going?" or "Hey, what's up?" will suffice. Being polite and friendly always helps.
Wait for the signals that she is interested: laughing (at your hilarious jokes), flicking her hair around, etc. If she makes any physical contact, like touching your arm while she laughs, it's a good sign.
If you really think she/he is very intrested in you and you like being chased, follow this step, but it is not 100% all the time. After you are 100% sure she is wanting you like a million dollar bill at the mall after flirting for a while, simply say "it was nice talking with you" and walk away. Now if she really was intrested in you enough, she might stop you and ask for you phone # or ask to meet up again.
Take a hint if she's not interested. If she's busy, or if your comic genius is not being appreciated, then say, "It was great to meet you" and cut your losses. If you come on too strong, some women might feel threatened.
Take it small steps at a time. If you think she is interested, don't overdo it: be brief, return to your friends, say, "Maybe we can have a chat later."
Tips
Hygiene: Wash, brush your teeth, clean your ears, cut your nails, pluck those hairs out of your nose. Women notice every flaw so hide them well.
Dress well: ask your sister or mother for advice, wear nice shoes, smell nice but don't overdo the aftershave and smell.
Don't be cheap: pay for her drinks, dinner, her taxi ride home. If she insists on paying her own way, try, "I will get this one, you pay next time." However, if she seems truly intent on paying, don't push it! Let her, but insist you pay the next time. (Note the hint of there being a future between the two of you. Many women will pick up on this subtle comment, but not all; you may be able to ascertain if she's interested by her reaction to this.)
If a girl is on her own, don't point that fact out, and beware if they are in a group of friends as you will end up having to impress more than one girl.
For guys, remember that girls naturally have a wider range of vision than men. When a girl glances to her side she could be trying to get a view of you. Conversely, be careful if you're looking at a girl more than is normal and you can see the sides of her eyes: she can probably see you just as well as you can see her!
Warnings
Do not have bad breath.
Always have manners, open doors for her, chew food with your mouth shut, and be polite to staff.
Do not act perverted around her. She will not think it is funny!
How to treat with a girl.?
Be Nice to herRemember that every human being wants to be appreciated. The more genuine and specific you are, the better.
Respect her future. The fact is, you might not end up being "the one". Don't do anything that will compromise her future because of something you did. If you aren't ready to be a father, don't work the relationship that way. If you don't like "used goods" then don't ruin her possibilities by turning her into them.
Let her talk about herself. If you say you want to get to know her better, and you then take over all the conversations, she will think you are self-centered and not very interested in her after all.
Find out about her hobbies by asking questions about the kind of music she likes, observing her environment, and asking about clothes or pictures she might have.
Compliment her. Say that her hair looks nice or that a shirt looks great on her. Then look in her eyes, and smile. Mean it. Keep it real.
A small gift is a nice touchTell her she is pretty. No matter how average she thinks her looks may be, a girl will usually be flattered and pleased to know you think she is attractive. Say "You've got the most beautiful eyes/hair/skin/hands/etc. I've ever seen," and again, mean it!
Maintain good hygiene. Take a shower, put on deodorant, brush your teeth, and shave (if needed) right before you see her—every time. Nothing makes a girl more uncomfortable than body odor and/or bad breath.
Listen! You need to be a good listener. That works with most of the girls; they need someone who will patiently listen and understand them! There is a huge difference between "hearing" and "listening", so make sure you are actively listening to her.
Let her know about things she might be interested in. This will show her you remembered and are thinking about her, and the things she likes.
Don't forget her special occasions - especially her birthday.
Be truthful. There is no need to lie. Being honest during the dating process means you respect her wants and needs, but you also recognize your own. If you find yourself always apologizing or trying to soothe her ruffled feathers, you need to honestly decide whether or not the two of you are a match. Treating a girl well also means recognizing this truth, and telling her in a way that hurts as little as possible—as soon as you know.
Make her feel comfortable. Relax and enjoy the time you spend together.
Co-operate to understand her point of view if you disagree. Repeat or reflect her feelings so that she knows you really heard her. If it makes sense to you, apologize for your actions that upset her. If you feel you were in the right, however, tell her you didn't realize your actions would hurt her and you're sorry to cause her pain, and that you'll have to consider more carefully next time. As mentioned earlier, keep it real. Do not promise never to do it again if you don't intend to keep that promise. If the thing that upsets her is a thing that is fundamental to your personality, you might not be able to change it to a degree that will make her comfortable, and that may mean you will eventually have to part ways.
Be real with her, and with yourself. This cannot be stressed enough. If you find yourself saying or doing something and thinking another, step back. Take a look at yourself, and ask yourself what you really want. Share that self with her, because she can and will see that you aren't everything that you say and do.
Tips
When you are at a restaurant, sit across from her at the table (unless the table is really long, in which case you should sit next to her). Allow her to sit facing the room, while you face the wall. This way you give the impression that you require no view other than her beauty.
Taking her to places that cost lots of money isn't necessary. Take her to the park, maybe buy ice cream on the way; that way you interact with her. If you do go to the movies, plan on going for coffee or dessert after (which means a light dinner, and less expense - bonus!) so that you can talk about what you just saw.
Take things slow. Don't rush into an emotional or physical attachment just because you think you should.
Look her directly in the eyes when you speak to her or when she is speaking to you. But don't be creepy about it. Staring is not considered attentiveness; it's considered weird.
Pay careful attention to your manners at all times.
Show that you are impressed by her, but don't forget to impress her with something different.
Show you are different and sometimes crazy about life. Show her something that only you have got.
Girls are constantly analyzing you, what you do, how you dress, dates you take them on, and lots of other things. Take this into account and dress for the situation, as a good balance will keep them impressed. There's no point in dressing to impress, then being cheap about where you take her. It's like going to a nice restaurant in a tracksuit.
Avoid the temptation to idolize her or put her on a pedestal. She is as human as you are, and the more willing you are to accept that, the less likely she is to disappoint you.
Arrogant men don't get all the girls, confident guys do, and there's a huge difference. Women are less visually-oriented than men are, so even if you're not the most attractive guy in the world, your confidence will suggest that you're someone worth being with and your personality will back up that suggestion. Plus, if you are kind and warm when interacting with her and with others, she will see your value without your needing to have movie-star good looks. Just act and dress like a gentleman, and everything should be sweet.
Opening doors and pulling out chairs for the girl is not old fashioned, it's cute! Any girl likes a boy who will treat her well.
Hold her close to you, and be gentle when it's necessary.
Don't swear excessively or be crude. If you act immaturely, she is less likely to enjoy your company.
Put yourself in her place and treat her accordingly. In other words, how would you wish to be treated, if you were her?
Remember: no matter how hard you're working to Get The Girl, it's all but guaranteed that she is trying just as hard to find Mr. Right. A girl isn't that mystifying or distant of a creature, and she wants to love and be loved just as much as you do.
Hold her hand, especially if you catch her dangling it surreptitiously behind her.A girl loves the togetherness feeling of holding hands, not to mention you're affirming your interest in each other publicly without being crude. In other words, you're proud of her, and a man who can take pride in her will make any girl feel that they are treated well.
When she is going to take a challenge, wish her good luck.
Warnings
Don't stutter, mumble, or say "Um" or "Uh"; that will make her think you're bored. Take your time and think about what you want to say before you launch into some rambling tirade.
If she tells you about a personal problem, don't try to fix it. Just listen to her. (There are a few exceptions.) If she starts to cry, this is a big clue that she's really into you; it indicates that she trusts you enough to show she's vulnerable with you. A nice gesture here is to put your arms around her and just hold her. Don't say "Don't cry." Say, "Aww. It's going to be okay."
If you exaggerate your compliments or are insincere, a girl can usually see through that.
Make sure you're being yourself. If you act like a gentleman when you are alone with her, and then like a jerk when you're with your friends, she will catch on and you will run into trouble.
Make sure she doesn't find out you tried to learn how to make her laugh by reading articles on the Internet, at least not until your one-year anniversary. By then, she's definitely into you and minor things like that won't hurt.
How to deal with a crush..?
Don't give her any signs that you are desperately in love, but try to get to know her or even be friends. She won't like or date you if she doesn't know you.
If you're interested in getting a date with this girl, stay calm. Don't make a fool of yourself. Try and speak to her but make sure you don't do anything bizarre, it my be unecaserry and she might go mental
Get help from a friend that you believe is the most trustworthy; tell him your problem and pay attention to any advice he gives you. Since he's not in love, he's probably more clear-headed than you.
Act cool and collected around her. Try to pay attention to your appearance and look nice, but don't overdo it. Just be yourself.
Stay clean. You don't want her to think you're a slob. Make sure you smell good - no expensive cologne needed, just don't reek. Whatever you do, don't wear a ton of anything scented -especially stuff like AXE. Girls get sick of this. Believe me. The commercials about girls attacking you are wrong.
Before you try to talk to her, have a mental outline of what you're going to say. Know your topic, what you want to say about it, and what you want to ask her about it. Yes, you have to ask her questions, otherwise you are simply talking at her and you look dumb.
When dealing with a girl that has had a recent break-up, let her know that she has your support and that she can talk to you, but don't go overboard. You have to make sure that you don't sound like you are going to force her to cry on your shoulder.
Be confident! Girls like a guy that's confident. Be yourself no matter how hard it may seem. Sit next to her when you can! Most girls will like that...
Tips
Keep cool; drink some water. Try to see the bigger picture and stop obsessing.
Don't have a watery mouth. Nobody likes people spitting at them. That is a major turn off!
Try to sound like you have emotions too, but again, don't go overboard. When she shuts her finger in her locker, instead of saying "Hmph..." or something like "Oh my gosh, are you okay?! Ambulance, someone call 911! she might have broken her finger! (bursts into tears)" Just ask if she's okay, sounding worried, but not panicked.
Bring some peppermints around with you. She's not going to want to talk to you if your breath smells like the bad end of a donkey!
Know what she likes. Don't dress in ripped-up clothing if she likes things to be neat. However, you still need to be yourself, and remember, the clothes DON'T make the man, but they can help.
Warnings
Be prepared to be called names. Most people will find out about this. Don't sweat it, and don't say, "At least I can get a girl; you still have troubles getting a guy/girl!"
Do not wear cheap sprays like AXE or TAG. Most girls can't stand them! You should try to find out if your crush likes that scent. If she does like it and try wearing it. You really can't go wrong
If you're interested in getting a date with this girl, stay calm. Don't make a fool of yourself. Try and speak to her but make sure you don't do anything bizarre, it my be unecaserry and she might go mental
Get help from a friend that you believe is the most trustworthy; tell him your problem and pay attention to any advice he gives you. Since he's not in love, he's probably more clear-headed than you.
Act cool and collected around her. Try to pay attention to your appearance and look nice, but don't overdo it. Just be yourself.
Stay clean. You don't want her to think you're a slob. Make sure you smell good - no expensive cologne needed, just don't reek. Whatever you do, don't wear a ton of anything scented -especially stuff like AXE. Girls get sick of this. Believe me. The commercials about girls attacking you are wrong.
Before you try to talk to her, have a mental outline of what you're going to say. Know your topic, what you want to say about it, and what you want to ask her about it. Yes, you have to ask her questions, otherwise you are simply talking at her and you look dumb.
When dealing with a girl that has had a recent break-up, let her know that she has your support and that she can talk to you, but don't go overboard. You have to make sure that you don't sound like you are going to force her to cry on your shoulder.
Be confident! Girls like a guy that's confident. Be yourself no matter how hard it may seem. Sit next to her when you can! Most girls will like that...
Tips
Keep cool; drink some water. Try to see the bigger picture and stop obsessing.
Don't have a watery mouth. Nobody likes people spitting at them. That is a major turn off!
Try to sound like you have emotions too, but again, don't go overboard. When she shuts her finger in her locker, instead of saying "Hmph..." or something like "Oh my gosh, are you okay?! Ambulance, someone call 911! she might have broken her finger! (bursts into tears)" Just ask if she's okay, sounding worried, but not panicked.
Bring some peppermints around with you. She's not going to want to talk to you if your breath smells like the bad end of a donkey!
Know what she likes. Don't dress in ripped-up clothing if she likes things to be neat. However, you still need to be yourself, and remember, the clothes DON'T make the man, but they can help.
Warnings
Be prepared to be called names. Most people will find out about this. Don't sweat it, and don't say, "At least I can get a girl; you still have troubles getting a guy/girl!"
Do not wear cheap sprays like AXE or TAG. Most girls can't stand them! You should try to find out if your crush likes that scent. If she does like it and try wearing it. You really can't go wrong
How to act around girls..?
Be yourself. It's important to maintain self confidence by being yourself around girls. If you adopt an alternate personality to attract girls, you will eventually be weighed down with the feeling that your true self isn't good enough. It may help to develop and improve your social skills, but any girls that don't appreciate you for who you are don't deserve your attention.
Respect all girls equally. You stand a much better chance of making a good overall impression if you treat girls that don't interest you just as nicely as those that do. This doesn't mean that you need to talk to or flirt with every girl, but don't ignore them or treat them dismissively. Don't talk to a girl about other girls' attractiveness; it's distasteful and can degrade the girl's opinion of herself. You generally shouldn't talk about past relationships you've had, or other girls that interest you; it detracts from building a new relationship.
Make eye contact. Many girls like it when you can't take your eyes off them, but not when you're staring at their boobs. Although there are some girls that may enjoy such attention, you won't offend anyone by focusing on her face instead. Do not ogle her. Just remember to use discretion and show proper respect.
Make them feel special. Girls like it when you're forward but not in a creepy way. Smile at her in a way that's clear, friendly, and/or playful. If you feel compelled to honesty, you can offer a sincere compliment. For example, you could say "Did anyone ever tell you that you have a beautiful smile?" Eyes are another good one- they're not the easiest thing to notice, and it shows you were looking at her face. Select something good that is reserved for her only; it will make her feel wonderfully special, admired, and beautiful.
Be a gentleman. Girls love guys that are polite and courteous. It's just a matter of doing simple things like holding doors open for them and being respectful in other ways. Some claim chivalry is dead, but if you believe that, then you're going to have some problems getting a girl's interest.
Keep your manners in check. Watch the foul language. Don't pick your nose, scratch your butt, pick at your body in any way, fart, or burp, cough, or sneeze with your mouth wide open, etc. Gross her out, and you'll be lucky if she ever looks at you again.
Make her laugh. Being funny is one of the most attractive qualities a guy can have, and if you're not "handsome", a girl will usually overlook that! If you're not goofy but you have a very dry, sarcastic sense of humor, use that. Just watch your timing and try not to be too goofy, or you may make a fool of yourself. It's okay to tease her a little, but generally not about her appearance.
Notice when you're having a conversation and she seems uncomfortable, change the subject. Watch her movements, if she's shifting her weight a lot and not making eye contact, chances are she's uncomfortable.
Recognize that physical contact should be limited by the state of your relationship.
Acquaintances — A handshake when introducing yourself is probably a reasonable limit for a first meeting. You can also subtly brush your hand against her hand or arm.
Casual Friends or Prospective Dates — You could try something like touching her hair or playfully poking her in the side and asking if she is ticklish. This is generally considered flirting, and if a girl doesn't appreciate your advances, it's best to apologize and refrain from making similar contact.
Good Friends — It is generally acceptable to give friendly hugs to girls that you know fairly well, even if you aren't a couple. Just be sensitive to the girl's feelings about it; pressuring her to hug you will make her uncomfortable.
Boyfriend/Girlfriend — When you've grown closer, you can hold her hand or wrap your arm around her shoulders or waist when you're walking together. With her consent, you can also kiss her.
Tips
Be the same around her and your friends.
Never use the words "hot" or "sexy" unless it's in a joking fashion.
Don't ever tell her that she looks bad.
Don't try too hard. She'll notice.
Don't panic if you do something embarrassing. A lot of girls find that really cute.
Manners: use them! If you don't have them, then get them!
Warnings
Do not make sexist jokes.
Don't focus too much on one girl if she isn't enjoying the extra attention. She may get annoyed, and it will likely hurt your relationship.
Don't tell all of your friends what happens.
Get to know her friends and be friends with them. This will show her that you're nice and friendly.
Do not ever hesitate around her. This will make not only you but also her feel awkward, unless she hesitates too.
There is nothing wrong with trying to make her feel special long into a relationship, but trying to kiss up to her, especially within the first few weeks and months of knowing her, will do more harm than good, and you will be labeled more as a friend who tries to buy her attention than a potential mate.
Respect all girls equally. You stand a much better chance of making a good overall impression if you treat girls that don't interest you just as nicely as those that do. This doesn't mean that you need to talk to or flirt with every girl, but don't ignore them or treat them dismissively. Don't talk to a girl about other girls' attractiveness; it's distasteful and can degrade the girl's opinion of herself. You generally shouldn't talk about past relationships you've had, or other girls that interest you; it detracts from building a new relationship.
Make eye contact. Many girls like it when you can't take your eyes off them, but not when you're staring at their boobs. Although there are some girls that may enjoy such attention, you won't offend anyone by focusing on her face instead. Do not ogle her. Just remember to use discretion and show proper respect.
Make them feel special. Girls like it when you're forward but not in a creepy way. Smile at her in a way that's clear, friendly, and/or playful. If you feel compelled to honesty, you can offer a sincere compliment. For example, you could say "Did anyone ever tell you that you have a beautiful smile?" Eyes are another good one- they're not the easiest thing to notice, and it shows you were looking at her face. Select something good that is reserved for her only; it will make her feel wonderfully special, admired, and beautiful.
Be a gentleman. Girls love guys that are polite and courteous. It's just a matter of doing simple things like holding doors open for them and being respectful in other ways. Some claim chivalry is dead, but if you believe that, then you're going to have some problems getting a girl's interest.
Keep your manners in check. Watch the foul language. Don't pick your nose, scratch your butt, pick at your body in any way, fart, or burp, cough, or sneeze with your mouth wide open, etc. Gross her out, and you'll be lucky if she ever looks at you again.
Make her laugh. Being funny is one of the most attractive qualities a guy can have, and if you're not "handsome", a girl will usually overlook that! If you're not goofy but you have a very dry, sarcastic sense of humor, use that. Just watch your timing and try not to be too goofy, or you may make a fool of yourself. It's okay to tease her a little, but generally not about her appearance.
Notice when you're having a conversation and she seems uncomfortable, change the subject. Watch her movements, if she's shifting her weight a lot and not making eye contact, chances are she's uncomfortable.
Recognize that physical contact should be limited by the state of your relationship.
Acquaintances — A handshake when introducing yourself is probably a reasonable limit for a first meeting. You can also subtly brush your hand against her hand or arm.
Casual Friends or Prospective Dates — You could try something like touching her hair or playfully poking her in the side and asking if she is ticklish. This is generally considered flirting, and if a girl doesn't appreciate your advances, it's best to apologize and refrain from making similar contact.
Good Friends — It is generally acceptable to give friendly hugs to girls that you know fairly well, even if you aren't a couple. Just be sensitive to the girl's feelings about it; pressuring her to hug you will make her uncomfortable.
Boyfriend/Girlfriend — When you've grown closer, you can hold her hand or wrap your arm around her shoulders or waist when you're walking together. With her consent, you can also kiss her.
Tips
Be the same around her and your friends.
Never use the words "hot" or "sexy" unless it's in a joking fashion.
Don't ever tell her that she looks bad.
Don't try too hard. She'll notice.
Don't panic if you do something embarrassing. A lot of girls find that really cute.
Manners: use them! If you don't have them, then get them!
Warnings
Do not make sexist jokes.
Don't focus too much on one girl if she isn't enjoying the extra attention. She may get annoyed, and it will likely hurt your relationship.
Don't tell all of your friends what happens.
Get to know her friends and be friends with them. This will show her that you're nice and friendly.
Do not ever hesitate around her. This will make not only you but also her feel awkward, unless she hesitates too.
There is nothing wrong with trying to make her feel special long into a relationship, but trying to kiss up to her, especially within the first few weeks and months of knowing her, will do more harm than good, and you will be labeled more as a friend who tries to buy her attention than a potential mate.
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