Pay attention to her. Every time she is speaking to you, make an effort to look her in the eyes and understand what she is saying. If you do not understand, tell her. This will show her that you are listening and would like to hear what she has to say.
Be trustworthy. Prove yourself to her daily. If you give her your word that you will be there for her, follow through. How can anyone care for someone they lie to?
Respect her mind, body, and soul. She is a different individual. There are many paths of life and hers may be differing from yours. Accept her and cherish her for who she is.
Perform random acts of kindness. Be creative. Call her when you guys are not together and tell her that you are thinking about her. Paste a note on her mirror telling her that you love her. A picture is worth a thousand words, paint her a watercolor. Leave her a flower and a sincere note.
Spend quality time with her. Turning off the T.V., grabbing a blanket, and lying with her beneath the stars can mean more than expensive jewelry.
Let her know exactly how you feel. Look within. Exactly what does this woman mean to you? Write it down. Give it to her.
When you are away, whether it be a business trip, or a vacation with the guys, check in with her. It's just polite! Let her know that although you're having fun, she has crossed your mind,
Never lose contact for a unreasonable time, if you have not seen her for a few days, let her know you are thinking about her. Girls love this.
Tell her you love her every once in a while. It makes women feel good to know that they are loved.
Tips
Women are different from men. While a man's focus may be on the physical aspects of a relationship, showing a woman that you respect and care for the sensual things will go a very long way.
Never lie to her. Lying to a woman is a sure way to lose her respect.
Step in and help her without being asked. Show her that you are there for her.
Guys are actually very sensitive when it comes down to some things, so some of this may just be common sense.
Read an ebook called "100 Ways to Show Your Love & Affection" by Gloria D. Heffner gives great ideas to add or keep the romance, love & affection in a relationship. The ideas can be tailored to your or your partner's personality(ies).
Remember women multi-task (i.e. balancing work and family)
Turn off the TV and turn on the romance!
Monday, October 13, 2008
How to be a good boy friend..??
Be honest. In a mature relationship, honesty is the best policy. It may be difficult, but the truth will allow relationships to breathe. No matter what happens, no one can ever challenge the fact that you are truthful, which might mean that the other person also gives you the same respect. If something doesn't suit them let them know, otherwise they will not trust your opinion. But make it sound like a compliment. Suggest an alternative, and attach praise to the alternative.
For example, if they ask you if you like something they are trying on (trying on, not already wearing at a party!) let them know that it might work, but you think the blue one is your favourite so far because it shows off their great (insert a feature you appreciate, preferably not one that they are self-conscious about). It's not going to be easy to be honest and kind at the same time, so focus on learning how to give a feedback sandwich and you'll both be better off.
Don't brush them off. People often find it exasperating when they get the feeling their partner treats them as an inferior in a relationship. Women are no exception. A lot of people have been taught that the only way to get attention when their partner is trying to ignore them is to act more emotional and be louder until the partner finally surrenders and pays attention to her, even if in annoyance. If people feel they're being given the cold treatment by people who are supposed to be important to them, they get worried. Especially when it happens without you giving an explanation for why this disturbance has occurred. People aren't mind readers. Your mate is not likely to be able to guess that you're cranky just because they wouldn't let you do something that they felt was very trivial, whereas you found it important. If you know that your mood might lead you to overreact, simply say "I'm feeling really irritated right now. Can we talk about this later after I cool off a bit?" (Don't forget to follow through and actually give her your time later.)
Communicate. Do not talk their ear off, however make sure that if you have any problems that will affect your mood, they are made aware of the reasons for your problems and mood, so that you do not appear to merely be a fickle and cranky creature. Zone out everything around you when you're talking to them. If you ask them a question, ask them because you really want to know. For example, ask them what type of movies they enjoy, or about one of her favourites. If you know it, talk about it a little bit in an honest way, what you thought of it, and make a guess at why they might have liked it. Even if you are wrong, your mate will usually love the fact that you are interested enough to try. Remember, the opposite of talking is not waiting, it's listening. Make sure you're actually listening, not just waiting for your turn to talk. Put off a vibe that tells them that they can tell you anything. Make them feel safe.
Give gifts as a surprise. Anyone can buy a gift for a birthday, Christmas or an anniversary.
Listen to them when you are out window shopping, and if there is something they like, and it's within your price range, remember it and surprise them with it when they least expect it, for no reason at all. Or pick something up on your way home from work, and tell them you were thinking of them when you saw it. It doesn't have to be big or expensive--a book you know they will like, or a CD of their favourite band are nice gestures.
Mix things up. Go to a new restaurant, try a new nightclub or go to a new part of town. Even if you both end up hating it, it's an experience you can share and that's what it's all about isn't it? Creating memories together. Surprise them by doing something offbeat--think less maudlin and more personal. This includes anything from racing them to your walking destination, dancing without music, or even bringing them a tub of LEGO and encouraging their immediate use. You two should grow to be comfortable with each other, and do things together without self-consciousness. Ideally, they should never feel stupid around you for wanting or doing a particular thing. Step out of your comfort zone. Sometimes, in order to get things going, you need to be the one to step out of the comfort zone.
Compliment them sincerely. Find something particular and compliment them on it, but mean it. Don't just say, "You look nice". Say "That really makes your eyes flash", "Your hair cut really suits the shape of your face" or "That makes me want to kiss your neck" ...and then kiss their neck! The more specific you are, the more unique and appreciative the compliment.
Let your partner be. Just because she is your significant other, doesn't mean she is yours, implying any kind of ownership. You can't keep this person all to yourself. You might get jealous if they talk to someone else, but if you trust them and are good to them, you shouldn't have anything to worry about. If their actions do make you feel uncomfortable, sit down and talk, again using nonviolent communication. Same goes for how they dress and look. They may not always feel like spending an hour plucking, tweezing, clipping this, applying that. Make sure they know they can relax and be themselves with you. Don't make them feel like they always have to look like a celestial being. If they're letting themselves go, so to speak, bring it up in a gentle and helpful way, like "What ever happened to your red lipstick? You have gorgeous lips, and I love it when you highlight them once in a while. It looks amazing."
Take care of yourself. Don't be needy or dependent. Nothing scares someone away faster than someone they constantly need to remind to do laundry, take a shower, or get to work on time. Be hygienic and neat, set goals, and work hard. You can't be a good boyfriend if you're not a good person.
Tips
Keep in mind: the road will be difficult. As in any healthy relationship, you will have your share of conflicts, some tiny, some big. Remember to be true to yourself, and try to abandon any significant selfishness. A relationship is a matter of team work.
Treat them like you normally do around your friends or else they will feel like you're embarrassed to date her.
If she doesn't want to talk about something right away then just drop the subject. She will tell you when she is ready.
Warnings
If your partner sees you doing something that can be easily misinterpreted in a bad way, don't say "this isn't what you think" or "this isn't what it looks like". Hold her hand (they will pull away) then look them in the eye and tell them you love them, and that they are the only one for you, and it really wasn't what it looked like, then explain.
Never cheat. It remains perfectly understandable that you'll have wandering eyes, but realize where your heart is and stick to that. One time will be enough to convince someone to dump you.
Never hold their family's actions against them. No one can help what their family does or says. You can share with them that it bothers you what someone might have done or said but leave it alone after that.
Never tell them about something you almost did for them and then ended up not doing for whatever reason. Like saying 'I thought about getting you this gift, but changed my mind' or 'I was going to take the day off work to spend it with you and then decided it was a bad idea'. They will not think you were thoughtful, they will think you decided they weren't worth it. This is worse than an oblivious boyfriend, because it shows you know how to be romantic and what to do, but don't find them valuable enough. These thoughts are definitely best kept to yourself.
Don't embarrass them. Most people get embarrassed if you talk about undergarments and things like that. Remember, those sorts of things may be attractive to you, but to them they may be something they don't want to talk about. On the same idea, never tell a funny story about them without her consent, especially if they try to stop you, DO NOT CONTINUE. This will hurt their feelings, as it shows impressing your friends and making them laugh is more important to you than them not having to feel stupid.
Don't be too clingy. She wants her personal space just as much as you do. If she wants to hang out with her friends, or do something other than hanging out with you, let her.
For example, if they ask you if you like something they are trying on (trying on, not already wearing at a party!) let them know that it might work, but you think the blue one is your favourite so far because it shows off their great (insert a feature you appreciate, preferably not one that they are self-conscious about). It's not going to be easy to be honest and kind at the same time, so focus on learning how to give a feedback sandwich and you'll both be better off.
Don't brush them off. People often find it exasperating when they get the feeling their partner treats them as an inferior in a relationship. Women are no exception. A lot of people have been taught that the only way to get attention when their partner is trying to ignore them is to act more emotional and be louder until the partner finally surrenders and pays attention to her, even if in annoyance. If people feel they're being given the cold treatment by people who are supposed to be important to them, they get worried. Especially when it happens without you giving an explanation for why this disturbance has occurred. People aren't mind readers. Your mate is not likely to be able to guess that you're cranky just because they wouldn't let you do something that they felt was very trivial, whereas you found it important. If you know that your mood might lead you to overreact, simply say "I'm feeling really irritated right now. Can we talk about this later after I cool off a bit?" (Don't forget to follow through and actually give her your time later.)
Communicate. Do not talk their ear off, however make sure that if you have any problems that will affect your mood, they are made aware of the reasons for your problems and mood, so that you do not appear to merely be a fickle and cranky creature. Zone out everything around you when you're talking to them. If you ask them a question, ask them because you really want to know. For example, ask them what type of movies they enjoy, or about one of her favourites. If you know it, talk about it a little bit in an honest way, what you thought of it, and make a guess at why they might have liked it. Even if you are wrong, your mate will usually love the fact that you are interested enough to try. Remember, the opposite of talking is not waiting, it's listening. Make sure you're actually listening, not just waiting for your turn to talk. Put off a vibe that tells them that they can tell you anything. Make them feel safe.
Give gifts as a surprise. Anyone can buy a gift for a birthday, Christmas or an anniversary.
Listen to them when you are out window shopping, and if there is something they like, and it's within your price range, remember it and surprise them with it when they least expect it, for no reason at all. Or pick something up on your way home from work, and tell them you were thinking of them when you saw it. It doesn't have to be big or expensive--a book you know they will like, or a CD of their favourite band are nice gestures.
Mix things up. Go to a new restaurant, try a new nightclub or go to a new part of town. Even if you both end up hating it, it's an experience you can share and that's what it's all about isn't it? Creating memories together. Surprise them by doing something offbeat--think less maudlin and more personal. This includes anything from racing them to your walking destination, dancing without music, or even bringing them a tub of LEGO and encouraging their immediate use. You two should grow to be comfortable with each other, and do things together without self-consciousness. Ideally, they should never feel stupid around you for wanting or doing a particular thing. Step out of your comfort zone. Sometimes, in order to get things going, you need to be the one to step out of the comfort zone.
Compliment them sincerely. Find something particular and compliment them on it, but mean it. Don't just say, "You look nice". Say "That really makes your eyes flash", "Your hair cut really suits the shape of your face" or "That makes me want to kiss your neck" ...and then kiss their neck! The more specific you are, the more unique and appreciative the compliment.
Let your partner be. Just because she is your significant other, doesn't mean she is yours, implying any kind of ownership. You can't keep this person all to yourself. You might get jealous if they talk to someone else, but if you trust them and are good to them, you shouldn't have anything to worry about. If their actions do make you feel uncomfortable, sit down and talk, again using nonviolent communication. Same goes for how they dress and look. They may not always feel like spending an hour plucking, tweezing, clipping this, applying that. Make sure they know they can relax and be themselves with you. Don't make them feel like they always have to look like a celestial being. If they're letting themselves go, so to speak, bring it up in a gentle and helpful way, like "What ever happened to your red lipstick? You have gorgeous lips, and I love it when you highlight them once in a while. It looks amazing."
Take care of yourself. Don't be needy or dependent. Nothing scares someone away faster than someone they constantly need to remind to do laundry, take a shower, or get to work on time. Be hygienic and neat, set goals, and work hard. You can't be a good boyfriend if you're not a good person.
Tips
Keep in mind: the road will be difficult. As in any healthy relationship, you will have your share of conflicts, some tiny, some big. Remember to be true to yourself, and try to abandon any significant selfishness. A relationship is a matter of team work.
Treat them like you normally do around your friends or else they will feel like you're embarrassed to date her.
If she doesn't want to talk about something right away then just drop the subject. She will tell you when she is ready.
Warnings
If your partner sees you doing something that can be easily misinterpreted in a bad way, don't say "this isn't what you think" or "this isn't what it looks like". Hold her hand (they will pull away) then look them in the eye and tell them you love them, and that they are the only one for you, and it really wasn't what it looked like, then explain.
Never cheat. It remains perfectly understandable that you'll have wandering eyes, but realize where your heart is and stick to that. One time will be enough to convince someone to dump you.
Never hold their family's actions against them. No one can help what their family does or says. You can share with them that it bothers you what someone might have done or said but leave it alone after that.
Never tell them about something you almost did for them and then ended up not doing for whatever reason. Like saying 'I thought about getting you this gift, but changed my mind' or 'I was going to take the day off work to spend it with you and then decided it was a bad idea'. They will not think you were thoughtful, they will think you decided they weren't worth it. This is worse than an oblivious boyfriend, because it shows you know how to be romantic and what to do, but don't find them valuable enough. These thoughts are definitely best kept to yourself.
Don't embarrass them. Most people get embarrassed if you talk about undergarments and things like that. Remember, those sorts of things may be attractive to you, but to them they may be something they don't want to talk about. On the same idea, never tell a funny story about them without her consent, especially if they try to stop you, DO NOT CONTINUE. This will hurt their feelings, as it shows impressing your friends and making them laugh is more important to you than them not having to feel stupid.
Don't be too clingy. She wants her personal space just as much as you do. If she wants to hang out with her friends, or do something other than hanging out with you, let her.
How to ask a girl out..?
Make sure you for you, and you don't want to give her any false ideas. Look somewhat decent, showing that you are trying. Don't show up wearing over-powering cologne; two squirts is enough. Just enough for her to notice you when talking to you but not for somebody across the room to notice.
Greet her in . Mundane activities like grocery shopping or more exhilarating ones like snowboarding are great ways for her to get to know you, although inviting her for having coffee at a Cafe, or even a drink at a bar are not only great ideas, but traditional as well. After you and she have had the opportunity to "feel" each other out, find a time in the conversation where it would be appropriate to ask her out. The way you would ask her is quite simple in fact. An example would be: "Hey I'm going/doing ACTIVITY this weekend. How would you like to tag along? I promise it'll be great." Say this with a small smile, teasingly. Do NOT use cheesy pickup lines, as they are not you. The example doesn't have to be followed verbatim, you can ask it in whatever way you feel is comfortable, but the important part is that you make a time to see her, and ask if she wants to come with you.
Spend time with her and a group of other people (not a one-on-one date). This will make her feel more comfortable as it's not as intense as being out as a couple.
Make sure that you're asking out this girl not just for her looks, but for her personality. If you just ask her out because she is "hot" , then things won't work out for a long period of time. If she is a good friend of yours, don't make her feel uncomfortable, but ask her out & tell her that you really like her.
Ask her when you two are ALONE. Having others around you will stir pressure on her to say yes or no. Also, make sure the girl you are asking out is genuine and will really like you - not just because she has a good figure or is popular.
Make sure you don't give too much away about yourself and even though it feels supportive and cute don't say things like "if i'm annoying you, just tell me" because it will make the girl uncomfortable and make them think that you are open to rejection.
Tips
Have fun - don't try to be serious all the time! Most of them like to have some fun every now and then.
Before you meet her, make a list of creative ways to ask the girl out. Then pick the best one.
Be extremely nice and treat her with respect. This is a must. If you can't treat a girl right, don't even bother trying.
Become her friend. This is half the battle, and at the very worst at least you have one more friend than you had before.
Make sure her past relationship is completely over and done with.
Be calm and confident. If you're sweating and stuttering, that girl will feel nervous about going out with you. Girls want guys that are confident, but not cocky.
Some girls prefer to be called "sexy" or "hot." Others prefer to be called "lovely" or "beautiful." Make sure you don't use the wrong word. There are other good ones too like "stunning," "irresistible," "really something," "gorgeous," "a hottie," "radiant", etc. Try not to get stuck on just one.
Some girls don't care what a guy who she doesn't know thinks of her looks.
Practice talking to her. If you feel uncomfortable talking to her, you probably aren't ready to ask her out.
Think of subjects to discuss on the date; stories about yourself (not gross ones and not ones that are too elaborate and can't understood right off the bat!), things you want to know about her, etc. in advance
Being relaxed and confident is the difference between a comfortable silence and an unbearable silence. It's natural to have breaks in the conversation. Don't sweat it.
Don't ask your friends to do it. You will have a better chance coming from you.
If you get nervous when you go to ask her out, don't worry about it. Some girls actually think this is cute.
Smell nice when you go to ask her out! Smell is a big turn off! At least put on some deodorant, and don't overdo the cologne (some find it offending). Also, be careful about wearing strong aftershave. Some girls like the smell, while others don't. Just make sure you know if she likes/dislikes it.
Girls hate it when you have a friend ask them out. Otherwise, they get all confused and will not talk to you if she doesn't know the real deal.
If you are not sure if it's the right thing to do don't do it. You want a girl you know is interested in you so don't rush.
Joking around with her, even if it's in your nature, isn't always the best thing to do when asking her out. Show her that you can go outside of your element for her. Besides, if you're already laughing and you bring it up stupidly (ex. saying "Oh yeah, we should go out.") then she may not take it seriously.
Don't be afraid of rejection! Most girls have big hearts and will let you down very easily, if at all. Some girls agree to one date just because you asked and they're being nice. Don't take it the wrong way, it simply means she likes you enough to not hurt your feelings but not enough that she's ready for a relationship.
Try Double Dating when you first go out. If you can't drive it's a great idea, because would you rather your mom take you? I didn't think so. It also relieves pressure for the girl and can keep you out of sticky situations. If you're nervous, having a cool older friend that you're comfortable with and their date can help you feel relax and have a better time.
Remember the three P's of dating. For it to be a date it has to be Planned Ahead, Paid for, and Paired Off. Have a plan, don't go out there winging it because you'll do something stupid. If you're a guy, be a man and respect the girl enough to pay for her. Paired off, you don't have to be completely exclusive but it allows the date to be loyal to you in all the activities which leads to deeper bonds and deeper trust.
If the girl says "No," don't get really annoyed and show it. If you don't get annoyed and still get to know her better and then you ask again in about a couple of weeks she might say yes (if this doesn't work just give up)
Let her know that you really like her or else she might think you just want to have a short relationship.
Have fun. No girl wants to be with a guy who is boring.
Be confident. It's a little weird when someone starts to stutter and say um a lot.
When you do approach the girl, try not to start the conversation by a "Hey, can I talk to you?" or a "Can I ask you something?". Don't ask her out randomly, but these lines are giant hints that you are about to ask her out. Can be awkward.
Another thing by the same guy who said not to e-mail ask, ask her out, most people are scared, do you know why, because of the big NO, don't worry, if you really really love her it should work for you.
Don't wait! There is never a perfect time.
If you went out with a girl and she broke up with you then DO NOT ask one of her close friends to go out with you less than a month later. She will say no because she's not sure if her friend will be cool with you two going out.
Ask her out a few months later (e.g. If you asked a girl out in November, then you should probably ask her out in late January)
If you are looking at her and she starts to turn towards you don't turn and look in the opposite direction. It can make her think you are not confident and you will never get her.
DO NOT let her know you read this. It will almost definitely make you seem like you aren't confident enough to try it yourself.
And if you want to read her body language but don't want her to notice if she sits in front of you in a class you could look at her but you have to make sure you pay attention so you don't get in trouble.
And if you break up with her but she really likes you, you could say "I really hope we can still be friends." Because if you don't she would get very upset and think you might never want to talk to her again.
Smile most of the time when you want to ask her out, girls love guys who smile.
Remember that the boy pays! Girls sit there and say, "Oh, I can pay," but YOU have to pay! Remember this!!!!!!!!!
When you get ready to ask the big question, glance at the floor whilst you ask half the question and then pause, and then look deep into her eyes and ask half the rest softly.
Don't beat around the bush. Girls want to know you care enough to work up the confidence to straight up ask her out. If you ramble on and on the girl won't really get the message and most likely will never get back to you. If your directly ask her you will get a definate yes or no.
Asking a girl out in person is better than text, IM, email, or whatever else.
Tell THE TRUTH. If you smile every time she walks into the room, let her know as you slip in the question!
Warnings
Make sure you know her and are confortable with her because jumping head first into a relationship you and her are not ready for isnt good.
If you give her a note, leave it in her locker, because it gives her time to think about it before she gets around to answering it. Remember, dates are about seeing if you think you would have a chance with someone!
Try to be mature around her! No girl likes a guy who tells cheesy jokes or plays with food!
Absolutely don't ask in front of anyone else, because it might embarrass her.
Keep your hands to yourself! Trying to get physical with a girl right away just tells her that you consider her to be an object and not an actual person.
Be persistent, but not too persistent. If she turns you down gently, then she's politely telling you she's not interested. If she flat out refuses, back away. You don't want any girl to think you're a stalker.
If you have to ask her out through a friend, you will get a "no" by default. Girls do not enjoy hearing, "Hey! I'm asking you out for (Name of guy). He doesn't like you enough to overcome his lack of confidence." They will hear this regardless of how tactful your friend is, unless her friend is a very close friend to both you and herself.
Do not ask right away; you will always get a "no" just because she can always say she doesn't know you well enough. This one is big, get to know them well, then when you're both ready, ask her out cool and calm, and never try to kiss her on a first date unless you're positive that you both want to.
Do not try to buy her the world on the first date (e.g. teddies, etc.) because she might not want to develop the relationship.
Don't keep prying at a rejection. It's okay to ask how come if she says no, but don't be invasive.
Make sure you don't have bad breath! If you do they will assume that you do most of the time! Be careful and clean!
It wouldn't be the best choice to ask a girl out by e-mail because she might think you're to scared to ask her out in person. But it would be okay if you guys weren't going to see each other for a while and you wanted to ask her out before somebody else scooped her up.
Find out about the activities and hobbies she likes but try not to get to know her too much because when the time comes she might think of you as just a friend.
Don't talk about your class.
Don't look anywhere else while you're talking to her, this is considered rude and she might brush you off for it.
Greet her in . Mundane activities like grocery shopping or more exhilarating ones like snowboarding are great ways for her to get to know you, although inviting her for having coffee at a Cafe, or even a drink at a bar are not only great ideas, but traditional as well. After you and she have had the opportunity to "feel" each other out, find a time in the conversation where it would be appropriate to ask her out. The way you would ask her is quite simple in fact. An example would be: "Hey I'm going/doing ACTIVITY this weekend. How would you like to tag along? I promise it'll be great." Say this with a small smile, teasingly. Do NOT use cheesy pickup lines, as they are not you. The example doesn't have to be followed verbatim, you can ask it in whatever way you feel is comfortable, but the important part is that you make a time to see her, and ask if she wants to come with you.
Spend time with her and a group of other people (not a one-on-one date). This will make her feel more comfortable as it's not as intense as being out as a couple.
Make sure that you're asking out this girl not just for her looks, but for her personality. If you just ask her out because she is "hot" , then things won't work out for a long period of time. If she is a good friend of yours, don't make her feel uncomfortable, but ask her out & tell her that you really like her.
Ask her when you two are ALONE. Having others around you will stir pressure on her to say yes or no. Also, make sure the girl you are asking out is genuine and will really like you - not just because she has a good figure or is popular.
Make sure you don't give too much away about yourself and even though it feels supportive and cute don't say things like "if i'm annoying you, just tell me" because it will make the girl uncomfortable and make them think that you are open to rejection.
Tips
Have fun - don't try to be serious all the time! Most of them like to have some fun every now and then.
Before you meet her, make a list of creative ways to ask the girl out. Then pick the best one.
Be extremely nice and treat her with respect. This is a must. If you can't treat a girl right, don't even bother trying.
Become her friend. This is half the battle, and at the very worst at least you have one more friend than you had before.
Make sure her past relationship is completely over and done with.
Be calm and confident. If you're sweating and stuttering, that girl will feel nervous about going out with you. Girls want guys that are confident, but not cocky.
Some girls prefer to be called "sexy" or "hot." Others prefer to be called "lovely" or "beautiful." Make sure you don't use the wrong word. There are other good ones too like "stunning," "irresistible," "really something," "gorgeous," "a hottie," "radiant", etc. Try not to get stuck on just one.
Some girls don't care what a guy who she doesn't know thinks of her looks.
Practice talking to her. If you feel uncomfortable talking to her, you probably aren't ready to ask her out.
Think of subjects to discuss on the date; stories about yourself (not gross ones and not ones that are too elaborate and can't understood right off the bat!), things you want to know about her, etc. in advance
Being relaxed and confident is the difference between a comfortable silence and an unbearable silence. It's natural to have breaks in the conversation. Don't sweat it.
Don't ask your friends to do it. You will have a better chance coming from you.
If you get nervous when you go to ask her out, don't worry about it. Some girls actually think this is cute.
Smell nice when you go to ask her out! Smell is a big turn off! At least put on some deodorant, and don't overdo the cologne (some find it offending). Also, be careful about wearing strong aftershave. Some girls like the smell, while others don't. Just make sure you know if she likes/dislikes it.
Girls hate it when you have a friend ask them out. Otherwise, they get all confused and will not talk to you if she doesn't know the real deal.
If you are not sure if it's the right thing to do don't do it. You want a girl you know is interested in you so don't rush.
Joking around with her, even if it's in your nature, isn't always the best thing to do when asking her out. Show her that you can go outside of your element for her. Besides, if you're already laughing and you bring it up stupidly (ex. saying "Oh yeah, we should go out.") then she may not take it seriously.
Don't be afraid of rejection! Most girls have big hearts and will let you down very easily, if at all. Some girls agree to one date just because you asked and they're being nice. Don't take it the wrong way, it simply means she likes you enough to not hurt your feelings but not enough that she's ready for a relationship.
Try Double Dating when you first go out. If you can't drive it's a great idea, because would you rather your mom take you? I didn't think so. It also relieves pressure for the girl and can keep you out of sticky situations. If you're nervous, having a cool older friend that you're comfortable with and their date can help you feel relax and have a better time.
Remember the three P's of dating. For it to be a date it has to be Planned Ahead, Paid for, and Paired Off. Have a plan, don't go out there winging it because you'll do something stupid. If you're a guy, be a man and respect the girl enough to pay for her. Paired off, you don't have to be completely exclusive but it allows the date to be loyal to you in all the activities which leads to deeper bonds and deeper trust.
If the girl says "No," don't get really annoyed and show it. If you don't get annoyed and still get to know her better and then you ask again in about a couple of weeks she might say yes (if this doesn't work just give up)
Let her know that you really like her or else she might think you just want to have a short relationship.
Have fun. No girl wants to be with a guy who is boring.
Be confident. It's a little weird when someone starts to stutter and say um a lot.
When you do approach the girl, try not to start the conversation by a "Hey, can I talk to you?" or a "Can I ask you something?". Don't ask her out randomly, but these lines are giant hints that you are about to ask her out. Can be awkward.
Another thing by the same guy who said not to e-mail ask, ask her out, most people are scared, do you know why, because of the big NO, don't worry, if you really really love her it should work for you.
Don't wait! There is never a perfect time.
If you went out with a girl and she broke up with you then DO NOT ask one of her close friends to go out with you less than a month later. She will say no because she's not sure if her friend will be cool with you two going out.
Ask her out a few months later (e.g. If you asked a girl out in November, then you should probably ask her out in late January)
If you are looking at her and she starts to turn towards you don't turn and look in the opposite direction. It can make her think you are not confident and you will never get her.
DO NOT let her know you read this. It will almost definitely make you seem like you aren't confident enough to try it yourself.
And if you want to read her body language but don't want her to notice if she sits in front of you in a class you could look at her but you have to make sure you pay attention so you don't get in trouble.
And if you break up with her but she really likes you, you could say "I really hope we can still be friends." Because if you don't she would get very upset and think you might never want to talk to her again.
Smile most of the time when you want to ask her out, girls love guys who smile.
Remember that the boy pays! Girls sit there and say, "Oh, I can pay," but YOU have to pay! Remember this!!!!!!!!!
When you get ready to ask the big question, glance at the floor whilst you ask half the question and then pause, and then look deep into her eyes and ask half the rest softly.
Don't beat around the bush. Girls want to know you care enough to work up the confidence to straight up ask her out. If you ramble on and on the girl won't really get the message and most likely will never get back to you. If your directly ask her you will get a definate yes or no.
Asking a girl out in person is better than text, IM, email, or whatever else.
Tell THE TRUTH. If you smile every time she walks into the room, let her know as you slip in the question!
Warnings
Make sure you know her and are confortable with her because jumping head first into a relationship you and her are not ready for isnt good.
If you give her a note, leave it in her locker, because it gives her time to think about it before she gets around to answering it. Remember, dates are about seeing if you think you would have a chance with someone!
Try to be mature around her! No girl likes a guy who tells cheesy jokes or plays with food!
Absolutely don't ask in front of anyone else, because it might embarrass her.
Keep your hands to yourself! Trying to get physical with a girl right away just tells her that you consider her to be an object and not an actual person.
Be persistent, but not too persistent. If she turns you down gently, then she's politely telling you she's not interested. If she flat out refuses, back away. You don't want any girl to think you're a stalker.
If you have to ask her out through a friend, you will get a "no" by default. Girls do not enjoy hearing, "Hey! I'm asking you out for (Name of guy). He doesn't like you enough to overcome his lack of confidence." They will hear this regardless of how tactful your friend is, unless her friend is a very close friend to both you and herself.
Do not ask right away; you will always get a "no" just because she can always say she doesn't know you well enough. This one is big, get to know them well, then when you're both ready, ask her out cool and calm, and never try to kiss her on a first date unless you're positive that you both want to.
Do not try to buy her the world on the first date (e.g. teddies, etc.) because she might not want to develop the relationship.
Don't keep prying at a rejection. It's okay to ask how come if she says no, but don't be invasive.
Make sure you don't have bad breath! If you do they will assume that you do most of the time! Be careful and clean!
It wouldn't be the best choice to ask a girl out by e-mail because she might think you're to scared to ask her out in person. But it would be okay if you guys weren't going to see each other for a while and you wanted to ask her out before somebody else scooped her up.
Find out about the activities and hobbies she likes but try not to get to know her too much because when the time comes she might think of you as just a friend.
Don't talk about your class.
Don't look anywhere else while you're talking to her, this is considered rude and she might brush you off for it.
How to approach a girl in public..?
You have to get out there and seek them out! Most intelligent and classy girls do not go door to door looking for dates.
Enter a public place such as school and check out the girls
Seek eye contact. Maintain eye contact while trying to keep underwear and armpits dry.
Smile. Avoid appearing overconfident as she may find you cocky, but you mustn't be shy either.
Some girls do like shy guys. But most of them want a guy who's not afraid to go out on a limb sometimes.
Approach with confidence; don't use cheesy pick-up lines, they rarely work. A simple "Hi, how are you tonight?" should break the ice. Or, if you're a teenager, a less formal "Hey, how's it going?" or "Hey, what's up?" will suffice. Being polite and friendly always helps.
Wait for the signals that she is interested: laughing (at your hilarious jokes), flicking her hair around, etc. If she makes any physical contact, like touching your arm while she laughs, it's a good sign.
If you really think she/he is very intrested in you and you like being chased, follow this step, but it is not 100% all the time. After you are 100% sure she is wanting you like a million dollar bill at the mall after flirting for a while, simply say "it was nice talking with you" and walk away. Now if she really was intrested in you enough, she might stop you and ask for you phone # or ask to meet up again.
Take a hint if she's not interested. If she's busy, or if your comic genius is not being appreciated, then say, "It was great to meet you" and cut your losses. If you come on too strong, some women might feel threatened.
Take it small steps at a time. If you think she is interested, don't overdo it: be brief, return to your friends, say, "Maybe we can have a chat later."
Tips
Hygiene: Wash, brush your teeth, clean your ears, cut your nails, pluck those hairs out of your nose. Women notice every flaw so hide them well.
Dress well: ask your sister or mother for advice, wear nice shoes, smell nice but don't overdo the aftershave and smell.
Don't be cheap: pay for her drinks, dinner, her taxi ride home. If she insists on paying her own way, try, "I will get this one, you pay next time." However, if she seems truly intent on paying, don't push it! Let her, but insist you pay the next time. (Note the hint of there being a future between the two of you. Many women will pick up on this subtle comment, but not all; you may be able to ascertain if she's interested by her reaction to this.)
If a girl is on her own, don't point that fact out, and beware if they are in a group of friends as you will end up having to impress more than one girl.
For guys, remember that girls naturally have a wider range of vision than men. When a girl glances to her side she could be trying to get a view of you. Conversely, be careful if you're looking at a girl more than is normal and you can see the sides of her eyes: she can probably see you just as well as you can see her!
Warnings
Do not have bad breath.
Always have manners, open doors for her, chew food with your mouth shut, and be polite to staff.
Do not act perverted around her. She will not think it is funny!
Enter a public place such as school and check out the girls
Seek eye contact. Maintain eye contact while trying to keep underwear and armpits dry.
Smile. Avoid appearing overconfident as she may find you cocky, but you mustn't be shy either.
Some girls do like shy guys. But most of them want a guy who's not afraid to go out on a limb sometimes.
Approach with confidence; don't use cheesy pick-up lines, they rarely work. A simple "Hi, how are you tonight?" should break the ice. Or, if you're a teenager, a less formal "Hey, how's it going?" or "Hey, what's up?" will suffice. Being polite and friendly always helps.
Wait for the signals that she is interested: laughing (at your hilarious jokes), flicking her hair around, etc. If she makes any physical contact, like touching your arm while she laughs, it's a good sign.
If you really think she/he is very intrested in you and you like being chased, follow this step, but it is not 100% all the time. After you are 100% sure she is wanting you like a million dollar bill at the mall after flirting for a while, simply say "it was nice talking with you" and walk away. Now if she really was intrested in you enough, she might stop you and ask for you phone # or ask to meet up again.
Take a hint if she's not interested. If she's busy, or if your comic genius is not being appreciated, then say, "It was great to meet you" and cut your losses. If you come on too strong, some women might feel threatened.
Take it small steps at a time. If you think she is interested, don't overdo it: be brief, return to your friends, say, "Maybe we can have a chat later."
Tips
Hygiene: Wash, brush your teeth, clean your ears, cut your nails, pluck those hairs out of your nose. Women notice every flaw so hide them well.
Dress well: ask your sister or mother for advice, wear nice shoes, smell nice but don't overdo the aftershave and smell.
Don't be cheap: pay for her drinks, dinner, her taxi ride home. If she insists on paying her own way, try, "I will get this one, you pay next time." However, if she seems truly intent on paying, don't push it! Let her, but insist you pay the next time. (Note the hint of there being a future between the two of you. Many women will pick up on this subtle comment, but not all; you may be able to ascertain if she's interested by her reaction to this.)
If a girl is on her own, don't point that fact out, and beware if they are in a group of friends as you will end up having to impress more than one girl.
For guys, remember that girls naturally have a wider range of vision than men. When a girl glances to her side she could be trying to get a view of you. Conversely, be careful if you're looking at a girl more than is normal and you can see the sides of her eyes: she can probably see you just as well as you can see her!
Warnings
Do not have bad breath.
Always have manners, open doors for her, chew food with your mouth shut, and be polite to staff.
Do not act perverted around her. She will not think it is funny!
How to treat with a girl.?
Be Nice to herRemember that every human being wants to be appreciated. The more genuine and specific you are, the better.
Respect her future. The fact is, you might not end up being "the one". Don't do anything that will compromise her future because of something you did. If you aren't ready to be a father, don't work the relationship that way. If you don't like "used goods" then don't ruin her possibilities by turning her into them.
Let her talk about herself. If you say you want to get to know her better, and you then take over all the conversations, she will think you are self-centered and not very interested in her after all.
Find out about her hobbies by asking questions about the kind of music she likes, observing her environment, and asking about clothes or pictures she might have.
Compliment her. Say that her hair looks nice or that a shirt looks great on her. Then look in her eyes, and smile. Mean it. Keep it real.
A small gift is a nice touchTell her she is pretty. No matter how average she thinks her looks may be, a girl will usually be flattered and pleased to know you think she is attractive. Say "You've got the most beautiful eyes/hair/skin/hands/etc. I've ever seen," and again, mean it!
Maintain good hygiene. Take a shower, put on deodorant, brush your teeth, and shave (if needed) right before you see her—every time. Nothing makes a girl more uncomfortable than body odor and/or bad breath.
Listen! You need to be a good listener. That works with most of the girls; they need someone who will patiently listen and understand them! There is a huge difference between "hearing" and "listening", so make sure you are actively listening to her.
Let her know about things she might be interested in. This will show her you remembered and are thinking about her, and the things she likes.
Don't forget her special occasions - especially her birthday.
Be truthful. There is no need to lie. Being honest during the dating process means you respect her wants and needs, but you also recognize your own. If you find yourself always apologizing or trying to soothe her ruffled feathers, you need to honestly decide whether or not the two of you are a match. Treating a girl well also means recognizing this truth, and telling her in a way that hurts as little as possible—as soon as you know.
Make her feel comfortable. Relax and enjoy the time you spend together.
Co-operate to understand her point of view if you disagree. Repeat or reflect her feelings so that she knows you really heard her. If it makes sense to you, apologize for your actions that upset her. If you feel you were in the right, however, tell her you didn't realize your actions would hurt her and you're sorry to cause her pain, and that you'll have to consider more carefully next time. As mentioned earlier, keep it real. Do not promise never to do it again if you don't intend to keep that promise. If the thing that upsets her is a thing that is fundamental to your personality, you might not be able to change it to a degree that will make her comfortable, and that may mean you will eventually have to part ways.
Be real with her, and with yourself. This cannot be stressed enough. If you find yourself saying or doing something and thinking another, step back. Take a look at yourself, and ask yourself what you really want. Share that self with her, because she can and will see that you aren't everything that you say and do.
Tips
When you are at a restaurant, sit across from her at the table (unless the table is really long, in which case you should sit next to her). Allow her to sit facing the room, while you face the wall. This way you give the impression that you require no view other than her beauty.
Taking her to places that cost lots of money isn't necessary. Take her to the park, maybe buy ice cream on the way; that way you interact with her. If you do go to the movies, plan on going for coffee or dessert after (which means a light dinner, and less expense - bonus!) so that you can talk about what you just saw.
Take things slow. Don't rush into an emotional or physical attachment just because you think you should.
Look her directly in the eyes when you speak to her or when she is speaking to you. But don't be creepy about it. Staring is not considered attentiveness; it's considered weird.
Pay careful attention to your manners at all times.
Show that you are impressed by her, but don't forget to impress her with something different.
Show you are different and sometimes crazy about life. Show her something that only you have got.
Girls are constantly analyzing you, what you do, how you dress, dates you take them on, and lots of other things. Take this into account and dress for the situation, as a good balance will keep them impressed. There's no point in dressing to impress, then being cheap about where you take her. It's like going to a nice restaurant in a tracksuit.
Avoid the temptation to idolize her or put her on a pedestal. She is as human as you are, and the more willing you are to accept that, the less likely she is to disappoint you.
Arrogant men don't get all the girls, confident guys do, and there's a huge difference. Women are less visually-oriented than men are, so even if you're not the most attractive guy in the world, your confidence will suggest that you're someone worth being with and your personality will back up that suggestion. Plus, if you are kind and warm when interacting with her and with others, she will see your value without your needing to have movie-star good looks. Just act and dress like a gentleman, and everything should be sweet.
Opening doors and pulling out chairs for the girl is not old fashioned, it's cute! Any girl likes a boy who will treat her well.
Hold her close to you, and be gentle when it's necessary.
Don't swear excessively or be crude. If you act immaturely, she is less likely to enjoy your company.
Put yourself in her place and treat her accordingly. In other words, how would you wish to be treated, if you were her?
Remember: no matter how hard you're working to Get The Girl, it's all but guaranteed that she is trying just as hard to find Mr. Right. A girl isn't that mystifying or distant of a creature, and she wants to love and be loved just as much as you do.
Hold her hand, especially if you catch her dangling it surreptitiously behind her.A girl loves the togetherness feeling of holding hands, not to mention you're affirming your interest in each other publicly without being crude. In other words, you're proud of her, and a man who can take pride in her will make any girl feel that they are treated well.
When she is going to take a challenge, wish her good luck.
Warnings
Don't stutter, mumble, or say "Um" or "Uh"; that will make her think you're bored. Take your time and think about what you want to say before you launch into some rambling tirade.
If she tells you about a personal problem, don't try to fix it. Just listen to her. (There are a few exceptions.) If she starts to cry, this is a big clue that she's really into you; it indicates that she trusts you enough to show she's vulnerable with you. A nice gesture here is to put your arms around her and just hold her. Don't say "Don't cry." Say, "Aww. It's going to be okay."
If you exaggerate your compliments or are insincere, a girl can usually see through that.
Make sure you're being yourself. If you act like a gentleman when you are alone with her, and then like a jerk when you're with your friends, she will catch on and you will run into trouble.
Make sure she doesn't find out you tried to learn how to make her laugh by reading articles on the Internet, at least not until your one-year anniversary. By then, she's definitely into you and minor things like that won't hurt.
How to deal with a crush..?
Don't give her any signs that you are desperately in love, but try to get to know her or even be friends. She won't like or date you if she doesn't know you.
If you're interested in getting a date with this girl, stay calm. Don't make a fool of yourself. Try and speak to her but make sure you don't do anything bizarre, it my be unecaserry and she might go mental
Get help from a friend that you believe is the most trustworthy; tell him your problem and pay attention to any advice he gives you. Since he's not in love, he's probably more clear-headed than you.
Act cool and collected around her. Try to pay attention to your appearance and look nice, but don't overdo it. Just be yourself.
Stay clean. You don't want her to think you're a slob. Make sure you smell good - no expensive cologne needed, just don't reek. Whatever you do, don't wear a ton of anything scented -especially stuff like AXE. Girls get sick of this. Believe me. The commercials about girls attacking you are wrong.
Before you try to talk to her, have a mental outline of what you're going to say. Know your topic, what you want to say about it, and what you want to ask her about it. Yes, you have to ask her questions, otherwise you are simply talking at her and you look dumb.
When dealing with a girl that has had a recent break-up, let her know that she has your support and that she can talk to you, but don't go overboard. You have to make sure that you don't sound like you are going to force her to cry on your shoulder.
Be confident! Girls like a guy that's confident. Be yourself no matter how hard it may seem. Sit next to her when you can! Most girls will like that...
Tips
Keep cool; drink some water. Try to see the bigger picture and stop obsessing.
Don't have a watery mouth. Nobody likes people spitting at them. That is a major turn off!
Try to sound like you have emotions too, but again, don't go overboard. When she shuts her finger in her locker, instead of saying "Hmph..." or something like "Oh my gosh, are you okay?! Ambulance, someone call 911! she might have broken her finger! (bursts into tears)" Just ask if she's okay, sounding worried, but not panicked.
Bring some peppermints around with you. She's not going to want to talk to you if your breath smells like the bad end of a donkey!
Know what she likes. Don't dress in ripped-up clothing if she likes things to be neat. However, you still need to be yourself, and remember, the clothes DON'T make the man, but they can help.
Warnings
Be prepared to be called names. Most people will find out about this. Don't sweat it, and don't say, "At least I can get a girl; you still have troubles getting a guy/girl!"
Do not wear cheap sprays like AXE or TAG. Most girls can't stand them! You should try to find out if your crush likes that scent. If she does like it and try wearing it. You really can't go wrong
If you're interested in getting a date with this girl, stay calm. Don't make a fool of yourself. Try and speak to her but make sure you don't do anything bizarre, it my be unecaserry and she might go mental
Get help from a friend that you believe is the most trustworthy; tell him your problem and pay attention to any advice he gives you. Since he's not in love, he's probably more clear-headed than you.
Act cool and collected around her. Try to pay attention to your appearance and look nice, but don't overdo it. Just be yourself.
Stay clean. You don't want her to think you're a slob. Make sure you smell good - no expensive cologne needed, just don't reek. Whatever you do, don't wear a ton of anything scented -especially stuff like AXE. Girls get sick of this. Believe me. The commercials about girls attacking you are wrong.
Before you try to talk to her, have a mental outline of what you're going to say. Know your topic, what you want to say about it, and what you want to ask her about it. Yes, you have to ask her questions, otherwise you are simply talking at her and you look dumb.
When dealing with a girl that has had a recent break-up, let her know that she has your support and that she can talk to you, but don't go overboard. You have to make sure that you don't sound like you are going to force her to cry on your shoulder.
Be confident! Girls like a guy that's confident. Be yourself no matter how hard it may seem. Sit next to her when you can! Most girls will like that...
Tips
Keep cool; drink some water. Try to see the bigger picture and stop obsessing.
Don't have a watery mouth. Nobody likes people spitting at them. That is a major turn off!
Try to sound like you have emotions too, but again, don't go overboard. When she shuts her finger in her locker, instead of saying "Hmph..." or something like "Oh my gosh, are you okay?! Ambulance, someone call 911! she might have broken her finger! (bursts into tears)" Just ask if she's okay, sounding worried, but not panicked.
Bring some peppermints around with you. She's not going to want to talk to you if your breath smells like the bad end of a donkey!
Know what she likes. Don't dress in ripped-up clothing if she likes things to be neat. However, you still need to be yourself, and remember, the clothes DON'T make the man, but they can help.
Warnings
Be prepared to be called names. Most people will find out about this. Don't sweat it, and don't say, "At least I can get a girl; you still have troubles getting a guy/girl!"
Do not wear cheap sprays like AXE or TAG. Most girls can't stand them! You should try to find out if your crush likes that scent. If she does like it and try wearing it. You really can't go wrong
How to act around girls..?
Be yourself. It's important to maintain self confidence by being yourself around girls. If you adopt an alternate personality to attract girls, you will eventually be weighed down with the feeling that your true self isn't good enough. It may help to develop and improve your social skills, but any girls that don't appreciate you for who you are don't deserve your attention.
Respect all girls equally. You stand a much better chance of making a good overall impression if you treat girls that don't interest you just as nicely as those that do. This doesn't mean that you need to talk to or flirt with every girl, but don't ignore them or treat them dismissively. Don't talk to a girl about other girls' attractiveness; it's distasteful and can degrade the girl's opinion of herself. You generally shouldn't talk about past relationships you've had, or other girls that interest you; it detracts from building a new relationship.
Make eye contact. Many girls like it when you can't take your eyes off them, but not when you're staring at their boobs. Although there are some girls that may enjoy such attention, you won't offend anyone by focusing on her face instead. Do not ogle her. Just remember to use discretion and show proper respect.
Make them feel special. Girls like it when you're forward but not in a creepy way. Smile at her in a way that's clear, friendly, and/or playful. If you feel compelled to honesty, you can offer a sincere compliment. For example, you could say "Did anyone ever tell you that you have a beautiful smile?" Eyes are another good one- they're not the easiest thing to notice, and it shows you were looking at her face. Select something good that is reserved for her only; it will make her feel wonderfully special, admired, and beautiful.
Be a gentleman. Girls love guys that are polite and courteous. It's just a matter of doing simple things like holding doors open for them and being respectful in other ways. Some claim chivalry is dead, but if you believe that, then you're going to have some problems getting a girl's interest.
Keep your manners in check. Watch the foul language. Don't pick your nose, scratch your butt, pick at your body in any way, fart, or burp, cough, or sneeze with your mouth wide open, etc. Gross her out, and you'll be lucky if she ever looks at you again.
Make her laugh. Being funny is one of the most attractive qualities a guy can have, and if you're not "handsome", a girl will usually overlook that! If you're not goofy but you have a very dry, sarcastic sense of humor, use that. Just watch your timing and try not to be too goofy, or you may make a fool of yourself. It's okay to tease her a little, but generally not about her appearance.
Notice when you're having a conversation and she seems uncomfortable, change the subject. Watch her movements, if she's shifting her weight a lot and not making eye contact, chances are she's uncomfortable.
Recognize that physical contact should be limited by the state of your relationship.
Acquaintances — A handshake when introducing yourself is probably a reasonable limit for a first meeting. You can also subtly brush your hand against her hand or arm.
Casual Friends or Prospective Dates — You could try something like touching her hair or playfully poking her in the side and asking if she is ticklish. This is generally considered flirting, and if a girl doesn't appreciate your advances, it's best to apologize and refrain from making similar contact.
Good Friends — It is generally acceptable to give friendly hugs to girls that you know fairly well, even if you aren't a couple. Just be sensitive to the girl's feelings about it; pressuring her to hug you will make her uncomfortable.
Boyfriend/Girlfriend — When you've grown closer, you can hold her hand or wrap your arm around her shoulders or waist when you're walking together. With her consent, you can also kiss her.
Tips
Be the same around her and your friends.
Never use the words "hot" or "sexy" unless it's in a joking fashion.
Don't ever tell her that she looks bad.
Don't try too hard. She'll notice.
Don't panic if you do something embarrassing. A lot of girls find that really cute.
Manners: use them! If you don't have them, then get them!
Warnings
Do not make sexist jokes.
Don't focus too much on one girl if she isn't enjoying the extra attention. She may get annoyed, and it will likely hurt your relationship.
Don't tell all of your friends what happens.
Get to know her friends and be friends with them. This will show her that you're nice and friendly.
Do not ever hesitate around her. This will make not only you but also her feel awkward, unless she hesitates too.
There is nothing wrong with trying to make her feel special long into a relationship, but trying to kiss up to her, especially within the first few weeks and months of knowing her, will do more harm than good, and you will be labeled more as a friend who tries to buy her attention than a potential mate.
Respect all girls equally. You stand a much better chance of making a good overall impression if you treat girls that don't interest you just as nicely as those that do. This doesn't mean that you need to talk to or flirt with every girl, but don't ignore them or treat them dismissively. Don't talk to a girl about other girls' attractiveness; it's distasteful and can degrade the girl's opinion of herself. You generally shouldn't talk about past relationships you've had, or other girls that interest you; it detracts from building a new relationship.
Make eye contact. Many girls like it when you can't take your eyes off them, but not when you're staring at their boobs. Although there are some girls that may enjoy such attention, you won't offend anyone by focusing on her face instead. Do not ogle her. Just remember to use discretion and show proper respect.
Make them feel special. Girls like it when you're forward but not in a creepy way. Smile at her in a way that's clear, friendly, and/or playful. If you feel compelled to honesty, you can offer a sincere compliment. For example, you could say "Did anyone ever tell you that you have a beautiful smile?" Eyes are another good one- they're not the easiest thing to notice, and it shows you were looking at her face. Select something good that is reserved for her only; it will make her feel wonderfully special, admired, and beautiful.
Be a gentleman. Girls love guys that are polite and courteous. It's just a matter of doing simple things like holding doors open for them and being respectful in other ways. Some claim chivalry is dead, but if you believe that, then you're going to have some problems getting a girl's interest.
Keep your manners in check. Watch the foul language. Don't pick your nose, scratch your butt, pick at your body in any way, fart, or burp, cough, or sneeze with your mouth wide open, etc. Gross her out, and you'll be lucky if she ever looks at you again.
Make her laugh. Being funny is one of the most attractive qualities a guy can have, and if you're not "handsome", a girl will usually overlook that! If you're not goofy but you have a very dry, sarcastic sense of humor, use that. Just watch your timing and try not to be too goofy, or you may make a fool of yourself. It's okay to tease her a little, but generally not about her appearance.
Notice when you're having a conversation and she seems uncomfortable, change the subject. Watch her movements, if she's shifting her weight a lot and not making eye contact, chances are she's uncomfortable.
Recognize that physical contact should be limited by the state of your relationship.
Acquaintances — A handshake when introducing yourself is probably a reasonable limit for a first meeting. You can also subtly brush your hand against her hand or arm.
Casual Friends or Prospective Dates — You could try something like touching her hair or playfully poking her in the side and asking if she is ticklish. This is generally considered flirting, and if a girl doesn't appreciate your advances, it's best to apologize and refrain from making similar contact.
Good Friends — It is generally acceptable to give friendly hugs to girls that you know fairly well, even if you aren't a couple. Just be sensitive to the girl's feelings about it; pressuring her to hug you will make her uncomfortable.
Boyfriend/Girlfriend — When you've grown closer, you can hold her hand or wrap your arm around her shoulders or waist when you're walking together. With her consent, you can also kiss her.
Tips
Be the same around her and your friends.
Never use the words "hot" or "sexy" unless it's in a joking fashion.
Don't ever tell her that she looks bad.
Don't try too hard. She'll notice.
Don't panic if you do something embarrassing. A lot of girls find that really cute.
Manners: use them! If you don't have them, then get them!
Warnings
Do not make sexist jokes.
Don't focus too much on one girl if she isn't enjoying the extra attention. She may get annoyed, and it will likely hurt your relationship.
Don't tell all of your friends what happens.
Get to know her friends and be friends with them. This will show her that you're nice and friendly.
Do not ever hesitate around her. This will make not only you but also her feel awkward, unless she hesitates too.
There is nothing wrong with trying to make her feel special long into a relationship, but trying to kiss up to her, especially within the first few weeks and months of knowing her, will do more harm than good, and you will be labeled more as a friend who tries to buy her attention than a potential mate.
How to hug a girl at time of need...??
Especially in high school, hugging a girl can be an awkward new experience in a new relationship. Maybe you decided that previous hugs hadn't worked out, or maybe you really have no idea what should be going on in a hug. Well, your worries are over!
Ensure that you are in a favorable environment. Hugs aren't as effective in crowded areas, or places where other people might be staring at you. It's awkward to have your best friend walk up and start talking to you while you're hugging someone. Try a quiet street or park, or if you're inside, go to the corner of the room.
Approach with caution, but confidence. That may sound impossible, but it can be practiced in other situations. You should be sure the girl is prepared for a hug, at least as far as the relationship goes.
Look into her eyes for a few seconds. It's generally preferable to smile and say something like "How was your day?" or some other relatively unimportant small talk that doesn't call for a long reply... hopefully. The reply can come as an advantage, as a bad day might warrant a hug.
Lean your torso forward and extend your arms. The girl should acknowledge this; if she doesn't, pull back momentarily, just for a split second, to make sure she wants the hug. If you get the impression that she doesn't want the hug, adjust your extended arms to offer a quick pat on the shoulder or back instead; however, the girl will probably extend her arms towards you as well. Take a step forward to have her feet and your feet nearly touching so that you don't have to lean forward as far to reach her.
Embrace her by placing your arms around her back, perhaps near her waist, and lightly pulling her toward you. Her arms will typically be directed to either your waist or your shoulders. The first few seconds of the hug should be just like any other hug: firm but gentle. Be careful to avoid placing your hands on inappropriate places of the girl's body.
Make the hug more intimate, if it's appropriate. There are various things you can do to make your hug "more interesting", but if performed under the wrong circumstances, they could easily make the girl feel a little uncomfortable, wanting to back away. These options are generally not recommended for friend-only hugs. Whatever direction you take it, a first hug should probably not last any more than four to five seconds. Remember that it's best not to attempt to combine these in a single hug.
Move your arms around on her back just a few inches up and down, but wait a moment before doing so. Do not pat her back; this can make the hug awkward and too friendly.
Slowly sway back and forth, exchanging your weight on each foot.
Hold her tighter and lift her up off her feet by leaning backwards. You could even then proceed to spin her by turning around halfway or all the way. This is a playful and fun hug, but be sure the girl is going to accept it.
End the hug appropriately. It is likely that the girl will pull away before you do, but she may not. If she relaxes her arms, it is usually a sign that you should release her. When pulling away, simply let your arms slide out from her sides and back to rest at your own sides.
Make eye contact with her again. You want to give the impression that you appreciate the hug, so it would be good to smile. Once you have done that, you are pretty much free to go or strike up a conversation, or perhaps continue or close a conversation that you had started. Sometimes it is better to leave right after a hug, as it can make both of you want to embrace again and can strengthen a relationship.
Initiating contact Sometimes a girl might not appreciate the hug, in which case; shes a skank. Punch her in the back of the head and do what you must. I won't judge.
Tips
Try to have good hygiene.
Just do it; the rest will come naturally. If you make a mistake, try to recover casually and don't worry about it.
As your relationship develops, you may hug more and more often. Experiment with hugs, but remember to keep them a shared experience and not a selfish indulgence.
"Couple" status is not a requirement for hugging a girl, but you should at least be on familiar terms with her. Hugs between opposite-gender friends are often reserved for more significant moments, such as when parting before moving away, or returning after a long absence. Still, as long as you are respectful toward her, an occasional hug is probably fine. If it is too awkward for one or both of you, it may be best to avoid initiating one, but don't rule out the possibility of a hug being appropriate at some later point.
Don't hold her too tight, so don't squeeze her. Hold her firmly enough so she's comfortable. Just give her a light squeeze.
Some hugs are like a teddy bear, others are like a fortress. Sometimes they are both. Keep that in mind.
You may want to whisper something in her ear while you're hugging.
If you know your girl well enough, she may be flattered if you pick her up and spin her, but some girls do not like that.
If you must pat her back, make sure you don't do it too hard. You don't want to hurt her!
However, some girls are uncomfortable with back-patting and are unlikely to hug you again any time soon.
Warnings
Don't smother or grab her too suddenly.
Don't touch her butt. Keep your hands on her back.
Don't say anything to make her uncomfortable.
Try not to have bad breath. Don't chew gum because you may plan to kiss when hugging.
If this girl is your girlfriend, don't try to hug her 24/7 even if she seems to appreciate it. Kiss her for a change!
Do not ever force a hug; girls may think you're weird.
Don't move your face straight toward hers as if you're going in for a kiss; this might confuse her!
If it is just a friendly hug, don't hold on for more than 3 seconds and laugh when you let go.
Some girls may give a loud, involuntary squeal if you scare or hug them from behind. So, unless you know she won't mind it, don't sneak up on her. If this does happen, don't tease her about it unless you know her sense of humor well enough to be sure she'll take it well. In some cases, squealing is an involuntary body noise kind of like burping or farting—in other words, to some girls it's rather embarrassing—and responding with anything more than a smile might be interpreted as, well, mean.
If you hug her from behind, she might think that she is being kidnapped, and you could be hurt in the process of hugging her.
Do not play with her hair during a hug if you two are not "close". This may result in an awkward moment between you two and end up with you having to get close to her again. This can be an annoying gesture to the girl and the girl may think you are trying too hard to get her.
Ensure that you are in a favorable environment. Hugs aren't as effective in crowded areas, or places where other people might be staring at you. It's awkward to have your best friend walk up and start talking to you while you're hugging someone. Try a quiet street or park, or if you're inside, go to the corner of the room.
Approach with caution, but confidence. That may sound impossible, but it can be practiced in other situations. You should be sure the girl is prepared for a hug, at least as far as the relationship goes.
Look into her eyes for a few seconds. It's generally preferable to smile and say something like "How was your day?" or some other relatively unimportant small talk that doesn't call for a long reply... hopefully. The reply can come as an advantage, as a bad day might warrant a hug.
Lean your torso forward and extend your arms. The girl should acknowledge this; if she doesn't, pull back momentarily, just for a split second, to make sure she wants the hug. If you get the impression that she doesn't want the hug, adjust your extended arms to offer a quick pat on the shoulder or back instead; however, the girl will probably extend her arms towards you as well. Take a step forward to have her feet and your feet nearly touching so that you don't have to lean forward as far to reach her.
Embrace her by placing your arms around her back, perhaps near her waist, and lightly pulling her toward you. Her arms will typically be directed to either your waist or your shoulders. The first few seconds of the hug should be just like any other hug: firm but gentle. Be careful to avoid placing your hands on inappropriate places of the girl's body.
Make the hug more intimate, if it's appropriate. There are various things you can do to make your hug "more interesting", but if performed under the wrong circumstances, they could easily make the girl feel a little uncomfortable, wanting to back away. These options are generally not recommended for friend-only hugs. Whatever direction you take it, a first hug should probably not last any more than four to five seconds. Remember that it's best not to attempt to combine these in a single hug.
Move your arms around on her back just a few inches up and down, but wait a moment before doing so. Do not pat her back; this can make the hug awkward and too friendly.
Slowly sway back and forth, exchanging your weight on each foot.
Hold her tighter and lift her up off her feet by leaning backwards. You could even then proceed to spin her by turning around halfway or all the way. This is a playful and fun hug, but be sure the girl is going to accept it.
End the hug appropriately. It is likely that the girl will pull away before you do, but she may not. If she relaxes her arms, it is usually a sign that you should release her. When pulling away, simply let your arms slide out from her sides and back to rest at your own sides.
Make eye contact with her again. You want to give the impression that you appreciate the hug, so it would be good to smile. Once you have done that, you are pretty much free to go or strike up a conversation, or perhaps continue or close a conversation that you had started. Sometimes it is better to leave right after a hug, as it can make both of you want to embrace again and can strengthen a relationship.
Initiating contact Sometimes a girl might not appreciate the hug, in which case; shes a skank. Punch her in the back of the head and do what you must. I won't judge.
Tips
Try to have good hygiene.
Just do it; the rest will come naturally. If you make a mistake, try to recover casually and don't worry about it.
As your relationship develops, you may hug more and more often. Experiment with hugs, but remember to keep them a shared experience and not a selfish indulgence.
"Couple" status is not a requirement for hugging a girl, but you should at least be on familiar terms with her. Hugs between opposite-gender friends are often reserved for more significant moments, such as when parting before moving away, or returning after a long absence. Still, as long as you are respectful toward her, an occasional hug is probably fine. If it is too awkward for one or both of you, it may be best to avoid initiating one, but don't rule out the possibility of a hug being appropriate at some later point.
Don't hold her too tight, so don't squeeze her. Hold her firmly enough so she's comfortable. Just give her a light squeeze.
Some hugs are like a teddy bear, others are like a fortress. Sometimes they are both. Keep that in mind.
You may want to whisper something in her ear while you're hugging.
If you know your girl well enough, she may be flattered if you pick her up and spin her, but some girls do not like that.
If you must pat her back, make sure you don't do it too hard. You don't want to hurt her!
However, some girls are uncomfortable with back-patting and are unlikely to hug you again any time soon.
Warnings
Don't smother or grab her too suddenly.
Don't touch her butt. Keep your hands on her back.
Don't say anything to make her uncomfortable.
Try not to have bad breath. Don't chew gum because you may plan to kiss when hugging.
If this girl is your girlfriend, don't try to hug her 24/7 even if she seems to appreciate it. Kiss her for a change!
Do not ever force a hug; girls may think you're weird.
Don't move your face straight toward hers as if you're going in for a kiss; this might confuse her!
If it is just a friendly hug, don't hold on for more than 3 seconds and laugh when you let go.
Some girls may give a loud, involuntary squeal if you scare or hug them from behind. So, unless you know she won't mind it, don't sneak up on her. If this does happen, don't tease her about it unless you know her sense of humor well enough to be sure she'll take it well. In some cases, squealing is an involuntary body noise kind of like burping or farting—in other words, to some girls it's rather embarrassing—and responding with anything more than a smile might be interpreted as, well, mean.
If you hug her from behind, she might think that she is being kidnapped, and you could be hurt in the process of hugging her.
Do not play with her hair during a hug if you two are not "close". This may result in an awkward moment between you two and end up with you having to get close to her again. This can be an annoying gesture to the girl and the girl may think you are trying too hard to get her.
More Tips (Updated regularly)
Show interest, and show her that you would like to get to know her and you were happy to meet her or talk to her.
Always look into her eyes when speaking to her. That subtly will make her see that you are really taking an interest. Just be careful not to get lost in her eyes when she's talking, otherwise the only thing you'll have to respond with is "Wow, you've got pretty eyes." (see the first point).
Be sensitive and caring. Let her cry on your shoulder if she's sad. Make her smile when she's feeling crummy. However remember that she wants a man in her life so don't be supplicating.
Lead. She wants to be the wooed and not do the wooing so be the first to initiate touch (non-sexual and sexual). Be the one that comes in for the kiss. NEVER ask for ideas for what to do on the date, make plans and a back-up. If she knows of something better she will tell you.
Whisper in her ear. girls love this.
If you have little siblings, nieces, or nephews, show her that you really care for them. Play with them, watch over and protect them, show the girl that they look up to you.
For Valentine's Day (if you celebrate it) be sweet or thoughtful instead of showy and clichéd. A dozen red roses may be the traditional romantic gift, but most girls will be better pleased with a few of their favourite flowers tied with a red, pink, or white ribbon. Actually remembering a girl's favourites will endear you to her more than any elaborate scheme. If it's early in the relationship, though, and you don't know her favourites yet, a teddy bear (or other stuffed animal) is a perfectly fine fallback gift. Do something original to you.
Pick up lines are OK as long as they aren't obnoxious (meaning avoid the vast majority) or overtly sexual to someone you don't know.
Make her laugh. Girls love guys with a great sense of humour. That doesn't mean you should never take anything seriously, or else you'll come off as a clown.
Learn to dance and learn dance etiquette. Take some ballroom classes to build your confidence, so you learn to lead a girl through a song. Girls love guys that can dance.
Take the first step, if you're going to take her in your arms and sweep her off her feet on the first date, you're about as oblivious as a fish. Girls like the fact that they're being wooed so it doesn't help if you're that 'what's his face' at the corner thinking if you should make a move.
Those dreamy eye to eye across the room crap belong in movies. If you're going to ever win the prize, you've got to tell the prize you want it.
Break the ice. This is one of most seemingly dicey things to do, but once you have done this, holding a conversation and laughing will be easy, and you will begin to share a good rapport. a good laugh is always a smart way to break the ice. for eg - you would show this webpage to her, and have a laugh over what is written and the whole idea of having such a page as well.
Learn to be spontaneous. Taking an improv acting class can help with ideas for breaking the ice, and can help you be confident with talking to new people. Ideas flow, and it becomes easier to enter into and disengage from conversation, and can help you be more comfortable with any situation.
Get close with the girl's family. Knowing that she has her families approval makes her more comfortable, and knowing that you are a likable person is another plus.
Tips
Remember that all girls are different, and there's no one way to make any girl fall for you. For alternative takes on making a girl get butterflies in her stomach, check out the Related wikiHows below.
Sometimes just smile at a girl, you're bound to get a giggle.
Don't stalk girls. They will start to avoid you. However, you can try to talk to them more, through phone, IM, email, whatever.
Look at yourself in the mirror. If you've got an odd hair style or own something embarrassing which will make you look stupid, change it. Most girls don't mind appearance but nearly all will have first impressions. Make them for the best. Don't look like everyone else though, you want to stand out. In fact, from personal experience, a bad hair day can be excactly what you need.
Girls don't like nasty breath. Eat mints regularly and brush teeth often.
Don't just act natural - be natural. If your girl has a brain, she'll be able to detect that you're trying too hard, or striving to be something you're not.
Nothing is sexier than confidence. However, nothing is as unattractive as arrogance, or more annoying than a needy lack of self-esteem. Try with everything you have to find the drawing medium which is confidence.
Shower often, and not just with water. Actually use soap, and scrub really hard if you have failed to do this step before.
Fashion isn't just for girls... it's for guys to be recognized by girls. Get a nice pair of shoes. A pair of cool jeans will also look cool when bought from a fashionable teen store. Same goes for shirts. Don't just buy one outfit. Clothes should never be worn more than twice a week.
Calling her pretty or beautiful is more appreciated than hot or sexy, in fact, try to avoid the latter as much as possible.
Get in shape.
Ask her how she's doing and try to notice her moods. If she's sad, comfort her. If she is mad, ask her "what's wrong?" If she does not want to talk about it, don't press.
Don't be awkward or geeky when asking her out. Think of your own ways and do not try to act cool.
Treat her with respect, and don't say rude things about her behind her back.
Never let her pay for a date UNLESS she absolutely insists.
Try to be subtle when getting to know her, if she considers you a "friend" it may make her less willing to date you.
Make sure that you are not mean to her, ever. They simply do not accept that.
But at times reverse and remember that when a girl doesnt say anything thousands of thoughts are going through her head at that moment. . . maybe about you!
Compliment her in a non-stalker way. eg. if she's wearing an interesting necklace, say "that's an interesting necklace" or "that's a cool necklace" NOT "I always like your necklaces *scary grin*".
If you think something's wrong, ask her. Remember what she says, and is saying.
Cute teasing is okay. Something like "well you always look pretty" etc etc, in a messing-around voice is fine. Going over the top, and constantly putting her down will just make her angry and she'll probably tell her friends. This will result in general angry, vengeful people. This is not exactly what we're aiming for.
Warnings
Do this for every girl you are in a relationship with. If word gets out that you were a jerk to your last girlfriend, no one will want to date you.
Watch yourself. You can't always act the same around girls as you do around your male friends, especially at first.
If a girl is known to spread rumors about exes, be extra careful and consider whether this is really the girl for you.
Don't put on strong cologne. Girls hate the smell and avoid it as long as possible. Light cologne or the fresh shower smell is nice.
Don't ever force any girl to do something she doesn't want to do.
Don't discuss any intimate details about your girl with your friends, it will get out.
Impress her show her you're a real gentleman and don't ever kiss on the first date unless she is ready to.
When you are ready for the first kiss and the mood is right, lean towards her slowly, but don't shove your face into hers. If she doesn't back away, gently lean the rest of the way in for the kiss. Some tips say go halfway there, or 80 or 90 percent. Go with what feels natural for the moment. Going all the way can work, but it depends on the girl. Bottom line, lead the kiss, but let her come to you.
Always look into her eyes when speaking to her. That subtly will make her see that you are really taking an interest. Just be careful not to get lost in her eyes when she's talking, otherwise the only thing you'll have to respond with is "Wow, you've got pretty eyes." (see the first point).
Be sensitive and caring. Let her cry on your shoulder if she's sad. Make her smile when she's feeling crummy. However remember that she wants a man in her life so don't be supplicating.
Lead. She wants to be the wooed and not do the wooing so be the first to initiate touch (non-sexual and sexual). Be the one that comes in for the kiss. NEVER ask for ideas for what to do on the date, make plans and a back-up. If she knows of something better she will tell you.
Whisper in her ear. girls love this.
If you have little siblings, nieces, or nephews, show her that you really care for them. Play with them, watch over and protect them, show the girl that they look up to you.
For Valentine's Day (if you celebrate it) be sweet or thoughtful instead of showy and clichéd. A dozen red roses may be the traditional romantic gift, but most girls will be better pleased with a few of their favourite flowers tied with a red, pink, or white ribbon. Actually remembering a girl's favourites will endear you to her more than any elaborate scheme. If it's early in the relationship, though, and you don't know her favourites yet, a teddy bear (or other stuffed animal) is a perfectly fine fallback gift. Do something original to you.
Pick up lines are OK as long as they aren't obnoxious (meaning avoid the vast majority) or overtly sexual to someone you don't know.
Make her laugh. Girls love guys with a great sense of humour. That doesn't mean you should never take anything seriously, or else you'll come off as a clown.
Learn to dance and learn dance etiquette. Take some ballroom classes to build your confidence, so you learn to lead a girl through a song. Girls love guys that can dance.
Take the first step, if you're going to take her in your arms and sweep her off her feet on the first date, you're about as oblivious as a fish. Girls like the fact that they're being wooed so it doesn't help if you're that 'what's his face' at the corner thinking if you should make a move.
Those dreamy eye to eye across the room crap belong in movies. If you're going to ever win the prize, you've got to tell the prize you want it.
Break the ice. This is one of most seemingly dicey things to do, but once you have done this, holding a conversation and laughing will be easy, and you will begin to share a good rapport. a good laugh is always a smart way to break the ice. for eg - you would show this webpage to her, and have a laugh over what is written and the whole idea of having such a page as well.
Learn to be spontaneous. Taking an improv acting class can help with ideas for breaking the ice, and can help you be confident with talking to new people. Ideas flow, and it becomes easier to enter into and disengage from conversation, and can help you be more comfortable with any situation.
Get close with the girl's family. Knowing that she has her families approval makes her more comfortable, and knowing that you are a likable person is another plus.
Tips
Remember that all girls are different, and there's no one way to make any girl fall for you. For alternative takes on making a girl get butterflies in her stomach, check out the Related wikiHows below.
Sometimes just smile at a girl, you're bound to get a giggle.
Don't stalk girls. They will start to avoid you. However, you can try to talk to them more, through phone, IM, email, whatever.
Look at yourself in the mirror. If you've got an odd hair style or own something embarrassing which will make you look stupid, change it. Most girls don't mind appearance but nearly all will have first impressions. Make them for the best. Don't look like everyone else though, you want to stand out. In fact, from personal experience, a bad hair day can be excactly what you need.
Girls don't like nasty breath. Eat mints regularly and brush teeth often.
Don't just act natural - be natural. If your girl has a brain, she'll be able to detect that you're trying too hard, or striving to be something you're not.
Nothing is sexier than confidence. However, nothing is as unattractive as arrogance, or more annoying than a needy lack of self-esteem. Try with everything you have to find the drawing medium which is confidence.
Shower often, and not just with water. Actually use soap, and scrub really hard if you have failed to do this step before.
Fashion isn't just for girls... it's for guys to be recognized by girls. Get a nice pair of shoes. A pair of cool jeans will also look cool when bought from a fashionable teen store. Same goes for shirts. Don't just buy one outfit. Clothes should never be worn more than twice a week.
Calling her pretty or beautiful is more appreciated than hot or sexy, in fact, try to avoid the latter as much as possible.
Get in shape.
Ask her how she's doing and try to notice her moods. If she's sad, comfort her. If she is mad, ask her "what's wrong?" If she does not want to talk about it, don't press.
Don't be awkward or geeky when asking her out. Think of your own ways and do not try to act cool.
Treat her with respect, and don't say rude things about her behind her back.
Never let her pay for a date UNLESS she absolutely insists.
Try to be subtle when getting to know her, if she considers you a "friend" it may make her less willing to date you.
Make sure that you are not mean to her, ever. They simply do not accept that.
But at times reverse and remember that when a girl doesnt say anything thousands of thoughts are going through her head at that moment. . . maybe about you!
Compliment her in a non-stalker way. eg. if she's wearing an interesting necklace, say "that's an interesting necklace" or "that's a cool necklace" NOT "I always like your necklaces *scary grin*".
If you think something's wrong, ask her. Remember what she says, and is saying.
Cute teasing is okay. Something like "well you always look pretty" etc etc, in a messing-around voice is fine. Going over the top, and constantly putting her down will just make her angry and she'll probably tell her friends. This will result in general angry, vengeful people. This is not exactly what we're aiming for.
Warnings
Do this for every girl you are in a relationship with. If word gets out that you were a jerk to your last girlfriend, no one will want to date you.
Watch yourself. You can't always act the same around girls as you do around your male friends, especially at first.
If a girl is known to spread rumors about exes, be extra careful and consider whether this is really the girl for you.
Don't put on strong cologne. Girls hate the smell and avoid it as long as possible. Light cologne or the fresh shower smell is nice.
Don't ever force any girl to do something she doesn't want to do.
Don't discuss any intimate details about your girl with your friends, it will get out.
Impress her show her you're a real gentleman and don't ever kiss on the first date unless she is ready to.
When you are ready for the first kiss and the mood is right, lean towards her slowly, but don't shove your face into hers. If she doesn't back away, gently lean the rest of the way in for the kiss. Some tips say go halfway there, or 80 or 90 percent. Go with what feels natural for the moment. Going all the way can work, but it depends on the girl. Bottom line, lead the kiss, but let her come to you.
Thursday, October 9, 2008
How to overcome shyness with girls..??
Practice for a friend. A big factor in shyness is the fear of rejection. Eliminate this factor by approaching and picking up a woman for your friend or your brother. Since your own ego isn't at stake, you'll be less inhibited in your approach. You'll see it's no big deal and will want to pick up for yourself next time.
Take baby steps. Treat dating like a 12-step program. Start with a smile; show everyone (not just the cute girls) you're friendly and approachable. On following days, move up to saying "hi." A few days after that, engage in small talk. Keep going as you gradually open yourself up to people and see it's not as hard as you thought. If you make a blunder, forget about it. Most people are more forgiving than you think. If beautiful women intimidate you, take baby steps up the beauty scale. Start by approaching more average-looking women you feel confident with. As you become at ease with them, move on to prettier women, and so on.
Start by asking this special girl simple questions. You can show that you care by asking her how her day was.
Don't take things personally. If you want to succeed in the game of romance, you can't take every comment, insinuation or joke that a woman might throw your way as a personal affront. People sometimes say things they don't mean. You'll have nothing to be self-conscious about if nothing bothers you.
Learn to listen. Don't do all the talking. Let women yak about themselves for a while. Ask open-ended questions and just sit back and listen. If the conversation lulls, have new conversation topics ready. And to ease the burden of initiating something, have a few icebreakers handy to get the ball rolling.
Talk to a lot of people. Don't be afraid to chat up everyone you meet, from the old lady doing her groceries to the bank teller. Practice makes perfect.
Don't fear rejection. Great boxers go in the ring knowing there's a chance they'll lose. Similarly, you can't expect to succeed every time. Nothing is 100%, so view every encounter with a woman as a positive learning experience. The trick here is to not be self-conscious. Shyness and hesitation occur when you think about your flaws. Instead, focus your thoughts entirely on the woman you're talking to. You'll forget about your jitters and she'll be flattered by the attention.
Get out and socialize. Join activities in which you're always interacting with people, such as the gym, exercise classes, a college society, or a hobby club. In these environments, you must always socialize, and after a while, you'll get comfortable with it. Furthermore, you're practically guaranteed to meet interesting women.
It starts with you. When you leave your shyness behind, which will take time and persistence, you'll see how much your life will change, as you'll begin to go after what you want with fewer fears. And here's a secret: should you enter a room and feel those familiar jitters, remember that most people you meet are too busy worrying about what others think about them to really notice and judge you.
Tips
Imagine that you are talking to a friend. That will loosen the sexual tension and allow more comfortable conversation.
Keep eye contact. This lets her know you are legitimately interested. But don't stare!
Compliment the little things; the things that most men wouldn't notice. When you do that, you let her know that the little things she does don't go unnoticed, and makes her feel special.
Never over-do anything. In fact, UNDER-do some things. If you drop that one little compliment, and leave it at that, she will want to talk to you more to see what else you have to say.
Be yourself.
Be respectful to girls.They are not objects - keep that in mind.
Warnings
NEVER over-compliment. Drop one here or there, but if you over-compliment, that will introduce a feeling of awkwardness and disparity. Women like their men to be strong, not desperate.
Take baby steps. Treat dating like a 12-step program. Start with a smile; show everyone (not just the cute girls) you're friendly and approachable. On following days, move up to saying "hi." A few days after that, engage in small talk. Keep going as you gradually open yourself up to people and see it's not as hard as you thought. If you make a blunder, forget about it. Most people are more forgiving than you think. If beautiful women intimidate you, take baby steps up the beauty scale. Start by approaching more average-looking women you feel confident with. As you become at ease with them, move on to prettier women, and so on.
Start by asking this special girl simple questions. You can show that you care by asking her how her day was.
Don't take things personally. If you want to succeed in the game of romance, you can't take every comment, insinuation or joke that a woman might throw your way as a personal affront. People sometimes say things they don't mean. You'll have nothing to be self-conscious about if nothing bothers you.
Learn to listen. Don't do all the talking. Let women yak about themselves for a while. Ask open-ended questions and just sit back and listen. If the conversation lulls, have new conversation topics ready. And to ease the burden of initiating something, have a few icebreakers handy to get the ball rolling.
Talk to a lot of people. Don't be afraid to chat up everyone you meet, from the old lady doing her groceries to the bank teller. Practice makes perfect.
Don't fear rejection. Great boxers go in the ring knowing there's a chance they'll lose. Similarly, you can't expect to succeed every time. Nothing is 100%, so view every encounter with a woman as a positive learning experience. The trick here is to not be self-conscious. Shyness and hesitation occur when you think about your flaws. Instead, focus your thoughts entirely on the woman you're talking to. You'll forget about your jitters and she'll be flattered by the attention.
Get out and socialize. Join activities in which you're always interacting with people, such as the gym, exercise classes, a college society, or a hobby club. In these environments, you must always socialize, and after a while, you'll get comfortable with it. Furthermore, you're practically guaranteed to meet interesting women.
It starts with you. When you leave your shyness behind, which will take time and persistence, you'll see how much your life will change, as you'll begin to go after what you want with fewer fears. And here's a secret: should you enter a room and feel those familiar jitters, remember that most people you meet are too busy worrying about what others think about them to really notice and judge you.
Tips
Imagine that you are talking to a friend. That will loosen the sexual tension and allow more comfortable conversation.
Keep eye contact. This lets her know you are legitimately interested. But don't stare!
Compliment the little things; the things that most men wouldn't notice. When you do that, you let her know that the little things she does don't go unnoticed, and makes her feel special.
Never over-do anything. In fact, UNDER-do some things. If you drop that one little compliment, and leave it at that, she will want to talk to you more to see what else you have to say.
Be yourself.
Be respectful to girls.They are not objects - keep that in mind.
Warnings
NEVER over-compliment. Drop one here or there, but if you over-compliment, that will introduce a feeling of awkwardness and disparity. Women like their men to be strong, not desperate.
How to find out if a girl likes you..?
If she sits next to you, move a little closer, into her personal space, but not too much. If she doesn't scoot away, she probably likes you.
When she is talking to you, have a friend of yours say hi to her. If she briefly says hi back to him/her then starts talking with you again like she wasn't even interrupted, there's a good chance she likes you.
Get a group of people (including her, of course) around you and ask them who they like. When you come to her, it'll seem natural that you're asking her. If she says "Nobody!" and giggles, she probably likes you.
If when you ask her simple questions, she not only answers them, but follows up her answer with a comment to keep the conversation going, she probably likes you.
Ask the guy that sits next to you to watch her as you walk up to the front of the classroom. Make sure she notices you. When you sit back down, ask the guy if she did anything such as stare at you or giggle to one of her friends while looking/pointing at you. If any of this happened, she may like you.
Ask her where she likes to hang out, as if you eventually wanted to ask her out, and if she gets real excited, she probably likes you.
Drop something like your pencil case or binder. If she takes the initiative to help you or doesn't laugh at it when everyone else is laughing and stands up for you, she probably likes you.
If she looks in your eyes for a second but then quickly turns away
if she smiles at everything you say or laughs at things that arent even really funny she probably likes you
Tips
A lot of times if you catch her looking at you, she may look away, but it's not because she likes you. She might think that you like her and wants to see if you do. See if she continues to look back at you.
Body language you should look out for is if she is doing the hair toss, mirroring you, and acting differently than she does around her friends.
Try these tests repeatedly, maybe once a week.
Get to know her friends and ask them who she likes. Also, tell them that you like her and they will probably tell her. Then she should ask you out.
Warnings
Don't do gross stuff like burping or farting around her. That's a huge turn -off.
If these tests don't work, it doesn't mean she doesn't like you.
If she is way too mean to you, don't think she doesn't like you because she actually probably does.
When she is talking to you, have a friend of yours say hi to her. If she briefly says hi back to him/her then starts talking with you again like she wasn't even interrupted, there's a good chance she likes you.
Get a group of people (including her, of course) around you and ask them who they like. When you come to her, it'll seem natural that you're asking her. If she says "Nobody!" and giggles, she probably likes you.
If when you ask her simple questions, she not only answers them, but follows up her answer with a comment to keep the conversation going, she probably likes you.
Ask the guy that sits next to you to watch her as you walk up to the front of the classroom. Make sure she notices you. When you sit back down, ask the guy if she did anything such as stare at you or giggle to one of her friends while looking/pointing at you. If any of this happened, she may like you.
Ask her where she likes to hang out, as if you eventually wanted to ask her out, and if she gets real excited, she probably likes you.
Drop something like your pencil case or binder. If she takes the initiative to help you or doesn't laugh at it when everyone else is laughing and stands up for you, she probably likes you.
If she looks in your eyes for a second but then quickly turns away
if she smiles at everything you say or laughs at things that arent even really funny she probably likes you
Tips
A lot of times if you catch her looking at you, she may look away, but it's not because she likes you. She might think that you like her and wants to see if you do. See if she continues to look back at you.
Body language you should look out for is if she is doing the hair toss, mirroring you, and acting differently than she does around her friends.
Try these tests repeatedly, maybe once a week.
Get to know her friends and ask them who she likes. Also, tell them that you like her and they will probably tell her. Then she should ask you out.
Warnings
Don't do gross stuff like burping or farting around her. That's a huge turn -off.
If these tests don't work, it doesn't mean she doesn't like you.
If she is way too mean to you, don't think she doesn't like you because she actually probably does.
How to start a relationship.??
Get friendly.Be awesome at anything; if you are smart, show it off, if you are funny, make her laugh, or if you are good at sports, give a demonstration. Let people know how you are different. Look far and wide. If you find yourself without 'any prospects', then you are probably not looking in the right places. Think of what you like to do that defines who you are. Ask yourself, where would someone meet me ? If you're into sports or exercise, then look into places where people do those activities.
Look for someone who you can easily talk to. The most important part of any type of relationship is communication. If you cannot communicate effectively with your partner, your relationship will probably not go far.
Start by first talking and later making friends with the person you think is special. Most people don't like to jump straight into a relationship, especially girls. Find a reason to talk to the person. Make sure that they want to talk to you. Just talk about something that keeps the conversation going.
Be yourself and don't lie just to get to a special person's heart. If they find out later and you're in the middle of a deep relationship or maybe a time when you really need that person, they will leave for good.
Let the person know that you like them. Beyond the cheesy sending a note through a friend, talk to them about something you both have in common. School, parents, teachers, vacations, etc. Anything besides a relationship should be fairly safe territory.
Flirt. Flirting is a fine activity if you are interested in people who like to flirt. The social and playful activity certainly draws attention and can lead to a relationship. If it is not you, then don't bother, it is better to be yourself.
Take things slowly. Don't be too needy. They'll think you're just an annoying friend and you probably don't want them to think that. That special person might actually ask you over or on a date, which doesn't necessarily mean that he or she is into you. Give it time and things could work out. Once you have established 'first contact', remember not to squeeze the person. Try to continue doing your normal routine, with them in mind, rather than changing your whole life around them. Hopefully they will want to have a relationship with YOU, not a clone of themselves or a tag along.
Tips
Try to look nice -- looks count for first impressions.
If a girl only thinks you are talking to her because you want to "get with" her, she will not be too interested. Make it more meaningful.
Try to be close with the person's family. It will strengthen the relationship.
Eye contact- be sure to maintain eye contact when possible. This is especially so when talking about things you have in common. Allow eye contact to linger even into silences. If your mark allows this eye contact to linger as well, it's a good sign. If the lingering eye contact begins to feel awkward, just smile.
if you've known this person for a very long time,remind her of good times..she'll love reliving memories ex. you're a guy who's 13 & in grade 7,and you've known the girl that you like since grade 3..remind her of really good times you had (e.g. funny things that happened to both of you,someone you both know,bad substitute teachers you've had)..it just makes her want to talk to you more!
if your good friends with her try your best to sit next to her at school assemblies or lunch (ex. when the class is walking to the assembly..walk near her,then when she sits down,push your way through to sit next to her..and if it's dark,for talent shows or whatever,touch her hand for a few seconds,3 seconds at the most,and say sorry,chances are that if she likes you back,she'll say it's ok in a sweet voice,smile and look at you,or blush and look down at her feet :))..and if she really really likes you she'll try sitting next to you!
Try not to show off too much or else you could embarrass yourself.
Warnings
Never compromise your morals. If the person you are interested in is not interested in you, then you should move on. Some people are very polite and you may not realize immediately that they aren't interested. But, given time, it should become apparent. In the meantime, take it slow, and even if you are head over heels, don't reveal this right away, at least until you are more sure they are genuinely interested in you, or they could abuse your attraction to their benefit.
If you feel like you need time to decide, do not hesitate to take it. Your goal is finding a good mate for a relationship. If something feels wrong, think things through twice before acting.
To really get to know a person, try to delay sexual intimacy as long as possible so you'll be able to make the best objective decision on whether or not this will be a good relationship for the both of you. Many people find it difficult to see people for what they really are, once they have started an intimate relationship. Something that starts out hot and heavy usually burns out fast.
How to have a healthy relationship..??
Do not expect anyone to be responsible for your happiness. Accept yourself. Respect yourself. Love yourself first. Take good care of yourself. If you really want, you CAN always find something to do that makes you feel good about yourself right now. Love yourself, so pursue your true needs. Light up your true desires. Ask yourself why you didn't? Too often relationships fail because someone is unhappy and blames their partner for making them that way. Your life is ONLY under your control. Keep reminding yourself you are GOOD ENOUGH to have a happy life and a healthy relationship. Make yourself happy, and then share with one another.
Make and keep clear agreements. Respect the difference between yourself and your partner. Don't expect he or she agrees with you on everything. Reach mutual agreement or plan, and then commit to it. Leave the partner if you can't reach any agreement or you find he or she always makes excuses for breaking the agreement or plan. If you say you're going to meet your partner for lunch at noon, be on time, or call if you're going to be late. If you agree to have a monogamous relationship, keep that agreement and/or tell the truth about any feelings you're having about someone else before you act on them. Keeping agreements shows respect for yourself and your partner, as well as creating a sense of trust and safety.
Use communication to establish a common ground to understand different points of view and to create a mutual, collaborative agreement or plan. You can either choose to be right, or you can have a successful relationship. You can't always have both. Most people argue to be "right" about something. They say. "If you loved me, you would..." and argue to hear the other say, "Okay, you're right." If you are generally more interested in being right, this approach will not create a healthy relationship. Having a healthy relationship means that you have your experience, and your partner has his or her experience, and you learn to love and share and learn from those experiences. If you can't reach any mutual agreement, that doesn't mean either of you is wrong or bad, it only means you don't suit each other.
Approach your relationship as a learning experience. Each one has important information for you to learn. For example, do you often feel 'bossed' around in your relationship, or do you feel powerless? When a relationship is not working, there is usually a familiar way that we feel while in it. We are attracted to the partner with whom we can learn the most, and sometimes the lesson is to let go of a relationship that no longer serves us. A truly healthy relationship will consist of both partners who are interested in learning and expanding a relationship so that it continues to improve.
Tell the unarguable truth. Be truthful to yourself and your partner if you want true love. Many people are taught to lie to protect someone's feelings, either their own or those of their partner. Lies create disconnection between you and your relationship, even if your partner never finds out about it. The unarguable truth is about your true feelings; your partner can argue about anything that happens outside of you, but he or she cannot rationally deny your feelings. Here are some examples: "I felt scared when I saw you talking to him at the party," "I feel angry when you hang up on me," and "I felt sad when you walked out during our fight and didn't want to be around me."
Do not do anything for your partner if it comes with an expectation of reciprocation. The things you do for your partner must always be done because you chose to do them and you wanted to do them. Do not hold your “good deeds” over their head at a later time. Keeping score in a relationship will never work: a person is less likely to notice and value all the contributions of their partner as much as their own.
Forgive one another. Forgiveness is a decision of letting go the past and focusing on the present. It's about taking control of your current situation. Talk about the issue and try to reach a mutual agreement on how to handle the situation in the future and then commit to it. If you can't reach an agreement, it's a bad sign. If you learn from the past and do not repeat the same pattern, it's a good sign. It's the only way to prevent yourself from more disappointment, anger or resentment. Respect your partner, when your partner tells you to leave them alone, do give him or her the time and space.
Review your expectations. Try to be as clear as you can about any expectations - including acceptable and unacceptable behaviour and attitudes, especially attitudes towards money. Make sure you don't expect your partner to fulfil every need in your life. One person cannot be everything to you. Everybody needs love, intimacy, affection, and affirmation, but your partner cannot alone give you all of that. You need to get some from your friends, from your family, but first and foremost, love yourself. Attempting to change someone else’s mode of processing or personality style won’t work -- and will create derailments.
Be Responsible. Here's a new definition: Responsible means that you have the ability to respond. Respond to the real problem, to your true needs. It does not mean you are to blame. There is tremendous power in claiming your creation. If you've been snippy to your partner, own up to it, and get curious about why you are jealous and how you might do it differently next time. If you are unhappy in your relationship, get curious about why this situation seems similar to others from your past, and how you might create a better relationship for yourself rather than dwell in anger or resentment or try to change your partner instead.
Appreciate yourself and your partner. In the midst of an argument, it can be difficult to find something to appreciate. Start by generating appreciation in moments of non-stress, and that way when you need to be able to do it during a stressful conversation, it will be easier. One definition of appreciation is to be sensitively aware so you don't have to be sugar-coating anything; so tell your beloved that you love him or her, and that you don't want to argue but to talk and make it better.
Admit your mistakes and say sorry. Right after a misunderstanding or argument, tell your partner to give you some time to think of the wrong and right things that you and he/she did. Tell your partner to do the same thing and talk to them after 10-15 minutes. Tell your partner to give you time to talk and explain to them why you were angry, the wrong things you did, the things they did that you did not like and what you would like them to change. Ask your partner to do the same thing and give them a fair chance to talk and explain also. This will make your relationship stronger and help strengthen the communication between you and your partner.
12. Spend some quaility time together- No matter how busy you two are, there is always an excitement when you do something together, when you share your precious time. Do sport, eat in a restaurant, buy your favorite movies Together. You will feel the mgaic of love and connection that you have with each other.
Tips
Know yourself and be honest with yourself and love yourself -- first! Only then can you truly appreciate and love someone else.
Take good care of yourself. Treating yourself with respect and love is as important as respecting and loving your partner. Conduct yourself with dignity, even if you're very familiar with one another.
All good relationships are based upon mutual respect. If you do not feel respect for your partner, or believe your partner is losing respect for you, then consider ways of rebuilding it immediately. Respect is the key. If you have true respect for one another, then nothing can go wrong. You just have to find the right person to respect, this is the hard part.
Ask questions, clarify, don't assume. Do not talk if your mind is not clear or full of anger. When you feel hurt, do not say "you don't love me / you never loved me" or "let's break up" or "when do you want to break up?". You will regret one day. Tell him or her you feel hurt, and ask for clarification first.
Treat your partner the way you want to be treated. Be gentle and kind. Apologize if your partner feels hurt. Apology does not mean you are bad, it only means you care. When you are full of anger, it will surely burst out of your mouth if you open it. Calm down first, then think it through, then try to talk. When your partner asks to be left alone, do not blame or criticize. Show your respect and support by give him or her the time and space to calm down and think it through first. But do not leave any unsolved problem for too long.
Be the first to tell your partner, either positive or negative. Trust is as essential as respect. If you want your partner to trust you, trust him or her first. Letting your partner play guessing games may lead to misunderstanding and frustration. But, don't just tell him or her the issue, also talk about your plan to solve it.
Strike while the iron is cold. Know when to be reflective and invoke principles. When the house is burning is no time to teach fire safety principles.
Communicate with your partner. Without communication, there is no relationship. Stay in touch by, for example, calling your partner even if it's just to say 'hi' and 'I love you'.
Avoid any activity that could cause your partner to experience doubt, suspicion or distrust - build your credibility and earn trust and respect by always communicate truthfully and proactively, and always keep your words. In this way, if something happens which looks incriminating, your partner will believe you if you claim you are innocent. Past behavior predicts future actions - building a solid foundation of trust and integrity will take you far. However, ultimately your life and where it takes you is more important than your obligations to someone else. If there is trust in a relationship, you should be able to do what you want. You aren't responsible for making someone else jealous.
Always make sure to show your partner that you appreciate him/her. Whether it's calling them to check in, say I love you, or just spend your Saturday night together. The possibilities are endless.
Know when to say no, and know when time and space are actually constructive tools.
It is not always a good idea to answer certain questions with absolute truth if they bring emotional harm. "Do you sometimes think about your ex?" and "do I look fat in these pants?" are both loaded questions. In a relationship, answer questions honestly, but with tact and grace. For example, "I think you have other pants that look better on you" is a helpful answer, instead of simply "they don't", or "they do make you look fat".
Remember what you don’t do is as important as what you do.
Avoid flirting with others, especially previous partners or coworkers. Doing so may spur romantic feelings for another. There is nothing wrong with having friends of a gender you are attracted to; just keep flirting out of the friendship.
Tell your partner how you really feel about your ex and why you're no longer romantically involved. Don't ever lie or cheat on your partner, however one of those questions it's best not to answer totally honestly is "do you still think about your ex?" If you have fond memories, don't dwell on them, and assure your partner that while you occasionally remember places you went or things that happened, you are so much happier to be with your present partner. Period. Don't launch into a rehashing of the old days with the ex, or talk at length about the good times you had together or things you did together.
'It can help to learn the difference between Healthy and Unhealthy Relationships' - That way you can see potential problems as and when they arise (Remember - its likely you would see something Unhealthy at some point so don't be alarmed or shocked as there is no perfect relationship because we are all human and fallible). If you see something Unhealthy in your relationship try and work out why this is and see if you can work towards resolving it.
Warnings
Keep your expectations about the relationship realistic. Marriage should not be on your mind if you've been dating for a week, for example. Nor should you think that the relationship is going to solve all of your problems, or that you'll never be lonely again, or anything like that. Relationships can be wonderful things, but be realistic about them. Just as one can feel lonely in a crowd, one can also feel lonely occasionally when in a relationship - that doesn't mean the relationship is bad, it only means you're feeling a little down. Don't ascribe too much importance to it unless these feelings linger and begin to dominate your days and nights. If this happens, seek help; you may be spiralling into a depression.
Do not assume that any one relationship will be perfect. It is human to experience disagreements and emotional pain. Working past these issues may be an ongoing struggle.
Do not call it quits when you do argue. When in a state of anger, we can not rationalize and often find ourselves losing control by saying things we don't mean. Hang in there and try to work it out before finalizing a break-up that you will regret afterwards. That said, if you find you are arguing more and more, examine the possible reasons, and talk it over together.
There is no such thing as a PERFECT relationship. Sure, most of the time you'll be compromising. But don't get shocked or overly depressed because of arguments or fights. This will come for SURE. Without arguments and fights, your relationship will NOT grow stronger.
Make and keep clear agreements. Respect the difference between yourself and your partner. Don't expect he or she agrees with you on everything. Reach mutual agreement or plan, and then commit to it. Leave the partner if you can't reach any agreement or you find he or she always makes excuses for breaking the agreement or plan. If you say you're going to meet your partner for lunch at noon, be on time, or call if you're going to be late. If you agree to have a monogamous relationship, keep that agreement and/or tell the truth about any feelings you're having about someone else before you act on them. Keeping agreements shows respect for yourself and your partner, as well as creating a sense of trust and safety.
Use communication to establish a common ground to understand different points of view and to create a mutual, collaborative agreement or plan. You can either choose to be right, or you can have a successful relationship. You can't always have both. Most people argue to be "right" about something. They say. "If you loved me, you would..." and argue to hear the other say, "Okay, you're right." If you are generally more interested in being right, this approach will not create a healthy relationship. Having a healthy relationship means that you have your experience, and your partner has his or her experience, and you learn to love and share and learn from those experiences. If you can't reach any mutual agreement, that doesn't mean either of you is wrong or bad, it only means you don't suit each other.
Approach your relationship as a learning experience. Each one has important information for you to learn. For example, do you often feel 'bossed' around in your relationship, or do you feel powerless? When a relationship is not working, there is usually a familiar way that we feel while in it. We are attracted to the partner with whom we can learn the most, and sometimes the lesson is to let go of a relationship that no longer serves us. A truly healthy relationship will consist of both partners who are interested in learning and expanding a relationship so that it continues to improve.
Tell the unarguable truth. Be truthful to yourself and your partner if you want true love. Many people are taught to lie to protect someone's feelings, either their own or those of their partner. Lies create disconnection between you and your relationship, even if your partner never finds out about it. The unarguable truth is about your true feelings; your partner can argue about anything that happens outside of you, but he or she cannot rationally deny your feelings. Here are some examples: "I felt scared when I saw you talking to him at the party," "I feel angry when you hang up on me," and "I felt sad when you walked out during our fight and didn't want to be around me."
Do not do anything for your partner if it comes with an expectation of reciprocation. The things you do for your partner must always be done because you chose to do them and you wanted to do them. Do not hold your “good deeds” over their head at a later time. Keeping score in a relationship will never work: a person is less likely to notice and value all the contributions of their partner as much as their own.
Forgive one another. Forgiveness is a decision of letting go the past and focusing on the present. It's about taking control of your current situation. Talk about the issue and try to reach a mutual agreement on how to handle the situation in the future and then commit to it. If you can't reach an agreement, it's a bad sign. If you learn from the past and do not repeat the same pattern, it's a good sign. It's the only way to prevent yourself from more disappointment, anger or resentment. Respect your partner, when your partner tells you to leave them alone, do give him or her the time and space.
Review your expectations. Try to be as clear as you can about any expectations - including acceptable and unacceptable behaviour and attitudes, especially attitudes towards money. Make sure you don't expect your partner to fulfil every need in your life. One person cannot be everything to you. Everybody needs love, intimacy, affection, and affirmation, but your partner cannot alone give you all of that. You need to get some from your friends, from your family, but first and foremost, love yourself. Attempting to change someone else’s mode of processing or personality style won’t work -- and will create derailments.
Be Responsible. Here's a new definition: Responsible means that you have the ability to respond. Respond to the real problem, to your true needs. It does not mean you are to blame. There is tremendous power in claiming your creation. If you've been snippy to your partner, own up to it, and get curious about why you are jealous and how you might do it differently next time. If you are unhappy in your relationship, get curious about why this situation seems similar to others from your past, and how you might create a better relationship for yourself rather than dwell in anger or resentment or try to change your partner instead.
Appreciate yourself and your partner. In the midst of an argument, it can be difficult to find something to appreciate. Start by generating appreciation in moments of non-stress, and that way when you need to be able to do it during a stressful conversation, it will be easier. One definition of appreciation is to be sensitively aware so you don't have to be sugar-coating anything; so tell your beloved that you love him or her, and that you don't want to argue but to talk and make it better.
Admit your mistakes and say sorry. Right after a misunderstanding or argument, tell your partner to give you some time to think of the wrong and right things that you and he/she did. Tell your partner to do the same thing and talk to them after 10-15 minutes. Tell your partner to give you time to talk and explain to them why you were angry, the wrong things you did, the things they did that you did not like and what you would like them to change. Ask your partner to do the same thing and give them a fair chance to talk and explain also. This will make your relationship stronger and help strengthen the communication between you and your partner.
12. Spend some quaility time together- No matter how busy you two are, there is always an excitement when you do something together, when you share your precious time. Do sport, eat in a restaurant, buy your favorite movies Together. You will feel the mgaic of love and connection that you have with each other.
Tips
Know yourself and be honest with yourself and love yourself -- first! Only then can you truly appreciate and love someone else.
Take good care of yourself. Treating yourself with respect and love is as important as respecting and loving your partner. Conduct yourself with dignity, even if you're very familiar with one another.
All good relationships are based upon mutual respect. If you do not feel respect for your partner, or believe your partner is losing respect for you, then consider ways of rebuilding it immediately. Respect is the key. If you have true respect for one another, then nothing can go wrong. You just have to find the right person to respect, this is the hard part.
Ask questions, clarify, don't assume. Do not talk if your mind is not clear or full of anger. When you feel hurt, do not say "you don't love me / you never loved me" or "let's break up" or "when do you want to break up?". You will regret one day. Tell him or her you feel hurt, and ask for clarification first.
Treat your partner the way you want to be treated. Be gentle and kind. Apologize if your partner feels hurt. Apology does not mean you are bad, it only means you care. When you are full of anger, it will surely burst out of your mouth if you open it. Calm down first, then think it through, then try to talk. When your partner asks to be left alone, do not blame or criticize. Show your respect and support by give him or her the time and space to calm down and think it through first. But do not leave any unsolved problem for too long.
Be the first to tell your partner, either positive or negative. Trust is as essential as respect. If you want your partner to trust you, trust him or her first. Letting your partner play guessing games may lead to misunderstanding and frustration. But, don't just tell him or her the issue, also talk about your plan to solve it.
Strike while the iron is cold. Know when to be reflective and invoke principles. When the house is burning is no time to teach fire safety principles.
Communicate with your partner. Without communication, there is no relationship. Stay in touch by, for example, calling your partner even if it's just to say 'hi' and 'I love you'.
Avoid any activity that could cause your partner to experience doubt, suspicion or distrust - build your credibility and earn trust and respect by always communicate truthfully and proactively, and always keep your words. In this way, if something happens which looks incriminating, your partner will believe you if you claim you are innocent. Past behavior predicts future actions - building a solid foundation of trust and integrity will take you far. However, ultimately your life and where it takes you is more important than your obligations to someone else. If there is trust in a relationship, you should be able to do what you want. You aren't responsible for making someone else jealous.
Always make sure to show your partner that you appreciate him/her. Whether it's calling them to check in, say I love you, or just spend your Saturday night together. The possibilities are endless.
Know when to say no, and know when time and space are actually constructive tools.
It is not always a good idea to answer certain questions with absolute truth if they bring emotional harm. "Do you sometimes think about your ex?" and "do I look fat in these pants?" are both loaded questions. In a relationship, answer questions honestly, but with tact and grace. For example, "I think you have other pants that look better on you" is a helpful answer, instead of simply "they don't", or "they do make you look fat".
Remember what you don’t do is as important as what you do.
Avoid flirting with others, especially previous partners or coworkers. Doing so may spur romantic feelings for another. There is nothing wrong with having friends of a gender you are attracted to; just keep flirting out of the friendship.
Tell your partner how you really feel about your ex and why you're no longer romantically involved. Don't ever lie or cheat on your partner, however one of those questions it's best not to answer totally honestly is "do you still think about your ex?" If you have fond memories, don't dwell on them, and assure your partner that while you occasionally remember places you went or things that happened, you are so much happier to be with your present partner. Period. Don't launch into a rehashing of the old days with the ex, or talk at length about the good times you had together or things you did together.
'It can help to learn the difference between Healthy and Unhealthy Relationships' - That way you can see potential problems as and when they arise (Remember - its likely you would see something Unhealthy at some point so don't be alarmed or shocked as there is no perfect relationship because we are all human and fallible). If you see something Unhealthy in your relationship try and work out why this is and see if you can work towards resolving it.
Warnings
Keep your expectations about the relationship realistic. Marriage should not be on your mind if you've been dating for a week, for example. Nor should you think that the relationship is going to solve all of your problems, or that you'll never be lonely again, or anything like that. Relationships can be wonderful things, but be realistic about them. Just as one can feel lonely in a crowd, one can also feel lonely occasionally when in a relationship - that doesn't mean the relationship is bad, it only means you're feeling a little down. Don't ascribe too much importance to it unless these feelings linger and begin to dominate your days and nights. If this happens, seek help; you may be spiralling into a depression.
Do not assume that any one relationship will be perfect. It is human to experience disagreements and emotional pain. Working past these issues may be an ongoing struggle.
Do not call it quits when you do argue. When in a state of anger, we can not rationalize and often find ourselves losing control by saying things we don't mean. Hang in there and try to work it out before finalizing a break-up that you will regret afterwards. That said, if you find you are arguing more and more, examine the possible reasons, and talk it over together.
There is no such thing as a PERFECT relationship. Sure, most of the time you'll be compromising. But don't get shocked or overly depressed because of arguments or fights. This will come for SURE. Without arguments and fights, your relationship will NOT grow stronger.
How to find your soulmate..??
Be the person you would love to love. Instead of waiting for your soulmate to appear, make yourself the person you would like to find. Work on becoming the unique individual you're looking for. Just as you would want your soulmate to be comfortable in their own skin, work on just being yourself. You'll stand a better chance of getting noticed if you are comfortable, confident, and happy to be you. Expressing your individuality is the closest you can come to advertising your soulmate potential. Not only will you stand out, but you'll also be doing things that are more likely to bring you closer to your soulmate, who probably has similar interests and goals.
Remember that your soulmate might not be what you expect. If there's only one person in the world who can be your soulmate, what are the chances that they'll live in your town, look like the people you grew up with, or even speak the same language? Your soulmate does not have to live in the same country or even the same hemisphere as you. Be willing to span the globe for your true love. Also, if you're expecting your soulmate to be love at first sight, you might never find what you're looking for. So keep an open mind. Part of the romance of having a soulmate is being pleasantly surprised. Never change who you are inside.
Be patient. Life doesn't normally work on the schedule you envision. Your soulmate might cross your path when you're 8 or 80 years old. Don't be surprised either if there is a considerable age difference between the two of you. Yes, you might look forward to spending the majority of your life with your soulmate—perhaps buying a house, getting married, starting a family—but things do not always go as you plan. Your soulmate will color your world no matter how old you are, so don't rush into things, or else you might end up forcing the wrong person into the soulmate box, which will cause pain for everyone involved.
Accept people for who they are, not who you want them to be. When you've got all these fantasies flying around in your head about how wonderful and special your soulmate will be, it can be easy to look for those specific characteristics and features in anyone you get involved with. Unfortunately, unrealistic expectations can ruin a relationship, and might even chase your soulmate away. Whoever it is that you think might be your soulmate, appreciate their individuality and trust that if this person is your soulmate, they'll never need to change who they are for you, just like you'll never need to change who you are for them. That doesn't mean that you can't encourage them to try something new or help them to grow as a person, just don't force things on them that they are not comfortable with.
Weather the storms. Contrary to what popular media would have you believe, meeting your soulmate doesn't guarantee "happily ever after." Things won't get easier when you find that special someone, and in fact, they might get even harder. Ultimately, a soulmate is someone with whom you can grow, and the only way to grow together is to face challenges together. So if you put your heart and soul into a relationship, stick with it through the ups and downs, even when you question whether it's meant to be, and you might look back decades later and realize that you were with your soulmate all along. True love with your soulmate does not grow on its own: it must be cultivated and continually nurtured. So be lovable, and be willing to love like there is no tomorrow.
Tips
You need to find yourself before you find your soulmate. Once you're happy with yourself, a soulmate can make you even happier, but no one can fill a void created by not knowing who you are.
Don't obsess over finding your soulmate. Coming off as needy and desperate for love is not attractive to a soulmate—nor to anyone else, for that matter! Just be yourself, keep an open mind, and wait.
Warnings
Before you consider the steps above, reflect on the idea that a "soulmate" might be an idealized fantasy. It is a very real possibility that many people can qualify as a soulmate, not just one other person in the entire world. Although no one likes to entertain the possibility, it is equally true that you may never find your soulmate. Some ideals of said term can be quite quixotic, depending the limits to your mind. However, do not allow this to discourage you.. remember, you are a human 'magnet'... attracting to you, how you are. So remember the first step above and 'be the kind of person you would love to love.' ;)
Remember that your soulmate might not be what you expect. If there's only one person in the world who can be your soulmate, what are the chances that they'll live in your town, look like the people you grew up with, or even speak the same language? Your soulmate does not have to live in the same country or even the same hemisphere as you. Be willing to span the globe for your true love. Also, if you're expecting your soulmate to be love at first sight, you might never find what you're looking for. So keep an open mind. Part of the romance of having a soulmate is being pleasantly surprised. Never change who you are inside.
Be patient. Life doesn't normally work on the schedule you envision. Your soulmate might cross your path when you're 8 or 80 years old. Don't be surprised either if there is a considerable age difference between the two of you. Yes, you might look forward to spending the majority of your life with your soulmate—perhaps buying a house, getting married, starting a family—but things do not always go as you plan. Your soulmate will color your world no matter how old you are, so don't rush into things, or else you might end up forcing the wrong person into the soulmate box, which will cause pain for everyone involved.
Accept people for who they are, not who you want them to be. When you've got all these fantasies flying around in your head about how wonderful and special your soulmate will be, it can be easy to look for those specific characteristics and features in anyone you get involved with. Unfortunately, unrealistic expectations can ruin a relationship, and might even chase your soulmate away. Whoever it is that you think might be your soulmate, appreciate their individuality and trust that if this person is your soulmate, they'll never need to change who they are for you, just like you'll never need to change who you are for them. That doesn't mean that you can't encourage them to try something new or help them to grow as a person, just don't force things on them that they are not comfortable with.
Weather the storms. Contrary to what popular media would have you believe, meeting your soulmate doesn't guarantee "happily ever after." Things won't get easier when you find that special someone, and in fact, they might get even harder. Ultimately, a soulmate is someone with whom you can grow, and the only way to grow together is to face challenges together. So if you put your heart and soul into a relationship, stick with it through the ups and downs, even when you question whether it's meant to be, and you might look back decades later and realize that you were with your soulmate all along. True love with your soulmate does not grow on its own: it must be cultivated and continually nurtured. So be lovable, and be willing to love like there is no tomorrow.
Tips
You need to find yourself before you find your soulmate. Once you're happy with yourself, a soulmate can make you even happier, but no one can fill a void created by not knowing who you are.
Don't obsess over finding your soulmate. Coming off as needy and desperate for love is not attractive to a soulmate—nor to anyone else, for that matter! Just be yourself, keep an open mind, and wait.
Warnings
Before you consider the steps above, reflect on the idea that a "soulmate" might be an idealized fantasy. It is a very real possibility that many people can qualify as a soulmate, not just one other person in the entire world. Although no one likes to entertain the possibility, it is equally true that you may never find your soulmate. Some ideals of said term can be quite quixotic, depending the limits to your mind. However, do not allow this to discourage you.. remember, you are a human 'magnet'... attracting to you, how you are. So remember the first step above and 'be the kind of person you would love to love.' ;)
How to write a good love letter..?
Think of a time when you felt particularly moved by seeing your loved one. Recall the emotional and physical feelings you experienced in that moment.
Write a description of that moment including details about your feelings at the time, starting with a phrase such as, "I remember when…"
Recall two or three other experiences when you were moved by your loved one's words or actions. Add recollections of these experiences to your letter in the same way you wrote about the first one.
Feel the same way you felt the very first time you met your love.
If you feel comfortable and it works for your relationship, add dirty things - talk about the last encounter you two had, or what you'd like to do next time you meet.
End with a "P.S." Make it stupid. That way, any embarassment you feel about the letter is lessened. Hopefully, you're not embarrassed by your love letter.
Add a bunch of mushy gushy stuff, it's pure dynamite.
Tips
Describe your experiences using your own words, without forcing yourself to be fancy.
Exclude clichés from your letter.
Exclude rhyming poetry
Write two or three drafts until the letter sounds pleasing.
Write your own, original words, not something you've read or heard. The most important thing of all.
If you do quote something make sure to give credit for it.
Read it out loud! Just because it makes sense on paper doesn't mean it will make sense when spoken.
Try to learn calligraphy. If you think that's hard, it's not. Go to an art supply store, and get a pen, a fine nib, a thicker nib if you like, and a bottle of ink, then go slow and carefully when you write. This not only lets you think more about what you say, it also looks far more impressive.
Do not use a sentence like "you are hot" or "I like you a lot" or something like that, it might make them a little uneasy.
Do not explicitly refer to parts of the anatomy. This could be a turn-off. Don't use flippant language either. (Example: badunkadunks.)
Cheesy can be okay, but be sure not to overdo it. Make it sweet, heartfelt, and true.
Don't lie to impress. Example: Don't say "I love the way you flip your hair" to impress her/him, when thats not true. Honesty is the best policy.
Love letters are great as a "refresher" in a relationship, possibly for a special anniversary or such.
Warnings
Be prepared to receive a hug and a kiss after your loved one reads your letter.
But hey, face it, not everyone is in to you. Don't write a love letter unless you're sure the guy/girl is into you. Writing something as heartfelt as a love letter may be too much for some people. Be prepared for a letdown, but don't absolutely expect it.
Keep it simple, but hearfelt.
Don't focus on yourself.
If you're a girl writing a love letter to her guy, don't be surprised if he thinks it's a joke, or just says "Yeah whatever" and stuffs it into a drawer. Sometimes, guys aren't all 'lovey-dovey' like girls, and they simply might not understand the letter
REMEMBER - If it's written down, it can be shown to other people! The best way to talk to your partner is always in person, otherwise you could find your romantic sonnet photocopied and pasted all over your school/workplace.
While simply handing the letter over or even reading it aloud work, you can increase the overall effect by memorizing the letter and simply telling them. You gain the added advantage of being able to look them in the eye (as opposed to reading it from the paper, in which you can only make minimal eye contact), exude an incredible confidence as few people can muster the strength to say these sorts of things, and create a genuine memory together. Afterwards, you can give them the letter as a reminder of that incredible moment that you two shared.
Write a description of that moment including details about your feelings at the time, starting with a phrase such as, "I remember when…"
Recall two or three other experiences when you were moved by your loved one's words or actions. Add recollections of these experiences to your letter in the same way you wrote about the first one.
Feel the same way you felt the very first time you met your love.
If you feel comfortable and it works for your relationship, add dirty things - talk about the last encounter you two had, or what you'd like to do next time you meet.
End with a "P.S." Make it stupid. That way, any embarassment you feel about the letter is lessened. Hopefully, you're not embarrassed by your love letter.
Add a bunch of mushy gushy stuff, it's pure dynamite.
Tips
Describe your experiences using your own words, without forcing yourself to be fancy.
Exclude clichés from your letter.
Exclude rhyming poetry
Write two or three drafts until the letter sounds pleasing.
Write your own, original words, not something you've read or heard. The most important thing of all.
If you do quote something make sure to give credit for it.
Read it out loud! Just because it makes sense on paper doesn't mean it will make sense when spoken.
Try to learn calligraphy. If you think that's hard, it's not. Go to an art supply store, and get a pen, a fine nib, a thicker nib if you like, and a bottle of ink, then go slow and carefully when you write. This not only lets you think more about what you say, it also looks far more impressive.
Do not use a sentence like "you are hot" or "I like you a lot" or something like that, it might make them a little uneasy.
Do not explicitly refer to parts of the anatomy. This could be a turn-off. Don't use flippant language either. (Example: badunkadunks.)
Cheesy can be okay, but be sure not to overdo it. Make it sweet, heartfelt, and true.
Don't lie to impress. Example: Don't say "I love the way you flip your hair" to impress her/him, when thats not true. Honesty is the best policy.
Love letters are great as a "refresher" in a relationship, possibly for a special anniversary or such.
Warnings
Be prepared to receive a hug and a kiss after your loved one reads your letter.
But hey, face it, not everyone is in to you. Don't write a love letter unless you're sure the guy/girl is into you. Writing something as heartfelt as a love letter may be too much for some people. Be prepared for a letdown, but don't absolutely expect it.
Keep it simple, but hearfelt.
Don't focus on yourself.
If you're a girl writing a love letter to her guy, don't be surprised if he thinks it's a joke, or just says "Yeah whatever" and stuffs it into a drawer. Sometimes, guys aren't all 'lovey-dovey' like girls, and they simply might not understand the letter
REMEMBER - If it's written down, it can be shown to other people! The best way to talk to your partner is always in person, otherwise you could find your romantic sonnet photocopied and pasted all over your school/workplace.
While simply handing the letter over or even reading it aloud work, you can increase the overall effect by memorizing the letter and simply telling them. You gain the added advantage of being able to look them in the eye (as opposed to reading it from the paper, in which you can only make minimal eye contact), exude an incredible confidence as few people can muster the strength to say these sorts of things, and create a genuine memory together. Afterwards, you can give them the letter as a reminder of that incredible moment that you two shared.
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